The day the train arrived in South Island City was clear and sunny.
Zhu Yan followed Shu Tang towards the coastal prison.
The blue flowers were neatly trimmed, the cold seaside fortress bloomed with one blue rose after another, and transparent curtains fluttered in the air;
She walked briskly into the fortress, bouquet in hand.
It looked much like a cozy home, with soft comfortable sofas and a radio on the window sill, all signs of life apparent.
Zhu Yan calmly took it all in, thinking this might be an illusion at life’s end.
For Zhu Yan, life had been full of hardships, with hardly any smooth paths. The only warmth in his childhood came from a quickly destroyed orphanage, and afterwards, he struggled for a long time just to get by.
He did odd jobs and relied on scholarships and sponsorships to complete his education. It was hard to imagine that, as a teenager, the now powerful leader had often survived a whole day on just steamed buns and free soup from the cafeteria to save on school expenses.
Even after becoming the “Great Leader,” his role was always defined as a “human weapon” before he reached that position. As the leader of special forces, he went through life-and-death situations countless times.
Many people consider Zhu Yan a perfect leader.
However, only Zhu Yan knew about his severe psychological flaws. Perhaps due to his childhood, he found it difficult to feel happiness; he even chose to enter contaminated areas, partly because he enjoyed killing.
But because of his high moral standards, he developed a severe self-loathing early on.
But these are things no one would believe if said out loud.
Choosing to give up on himself after being contaminated was because he felt his life was an endless struggle with no joy or happiness, nothing left but suffering and loneliness.
Thus, when happiness was within reach, and it didn’t even come at a high cost, he stubbornly believed it was all an illusion.
After leaving for more than two months, the Bastille was still much the same as when he left.
Shu Tang believed that since the young rose from ten years ago had agreed to her proposal and even wore her ring, the lonely memories would be washed away by the joy of the upcoming marriage, filling the gaps left by regret.
However, Shu Tang found that after the engagement, Zhu Yan’s attitude did not become warmer; instead, it grew colder.
When she went out to sun the quilts, this monster would stand far away at the window, holding a book, watching her without blinking, but he wouldn’t approach or come closer.
Sometimes when she spoke to Zhu Yan, the monster wouldn’t respond, as if the slightest sound would make her disappear.
She sent the mermaid to catch fish, and he would bring back some tuna according to her instructions but would place them far in front of her without approaching.
Shu Tang would also take the initiative to approach Zhu Yan, like showing him the light scattering from the ring in the sunlight, but his expression was hesitant and uncertain.
He would often be slow to respond to her voice, and his tone was soft and slow.
Because of the monster’s attitude, Shu Tang almost felt like she had become some kind of dandelion—
That could be blown away with a single breath or touch.
At that moment, Shu Tang realized something: perhaps their love was indeed not equal.
Shu Tang did not quite understand why the young rose always felt uneasy. But it wasn’t until he reverted to the Zhu Yan of ten years ago that she finally understood.
—People lacking in love feel very inferior when it comes to “being loved.”
Shu Tang, who grew up in a happy, ordinary family, had a heart full of abundance. She had an endless love for life, whether giving or receiving love, she was ample and rich.
Cats are creatures of immense vanity. When faced with happiness and love, deep down, they believe: Isn’t it natural to be loved? How could anyone not like cats! It must be that person who has a problem!
Then, with all the righteousness, they climb atop the other’s head to look down upon them.
But this fish is different; it doubts the very existence of “being loved.”
…
During the noon break, Zhu Yan still chose to sleep in the study.
However, in the afternoon, Shu Tang knocked on Zhu Yan’s door.
The monster, wearing a dark blue silk pajama, had its fin-like ears almost touching the top of the door frame, so it had to slightly lower its head to look at the little cat that came to visit.
Before he could ask what she came for, the little cat had already embraced his neck and kissed his chin.
She said, “Can you feel my body heat?”
“You see, you are cold, and I am warm.”
Her warm breath right beside the icy beast’s ear made her sweet words seem like a dreamy, surreal, and not quite tangible.
Zhu Yan looked down at her unmoved, thinking calmly: It’s all an illusion.
When tonight ends, as he opens his eyes, he will see an icy prison. He believes he shouldn’t indulge in these illusions, thus he appeared very aloof.
But seeing his indifference, a competitive spirit arose in her, and she directly kissed his fin-like ears and throat.
His beautiful throat moved slightly, muscles tensing under the dark blue silk pajama.
He seemed a bit uncomfortable and instinctively tried to dodge her, frowning at her as if trying to remind her of something.
But the next second, the words at the monster’s lips halted.
Because she, after being lifted up, did not plan to retreat but instead smiled and looked directly into the monster’s beautiful blue eyes and began to untie the straps of her nightgown. The silky fabric fell to her ankles in an instant.
In the light of the noon, there was a dreamlike beauty.
Like a stunningly beautiful oil painting.
The monster thought calmly: She will disappear soon.
She will disappear soon.
That phrase was like a spell.
As she tiptoed up to kiss him again, her soft warm body pressed against the cold silk pajama, he lowered his head.
With an emotionless face, he lifted her chin and kissed her. The cold, beast-like breath hit her neck.
She had an instinctive intuition for danger, but her kitten’s competitive spirit made her choose to confront it rather than flee at the first opportunity.
She thought he would panic as he had before.
But she was clearly mistaken.
She met a pair of aggressive, beastly blue eyes.
Convinced that she would soon vanish—
The ascetic chose indulgence and madness.
…
After everything was over, he waited for the hallucination to disappear.
But she didn’t vanish like a dandelion blown away; instead, she continued to vividly appear before him with red eyes and slightly damp, cute hair.
Then a pillow was thrown at him.
And clothes, a dress, underwear… and so on.
The kitten was still throwing a tantrum because he had bitten her on the thigh; it also caused her back pain and leg cramps.
Because of the vivid scene before him, the monster finally realized that everything was real.
When facing the kitten again, he immediately felt disoriented and helpless.
Zhu Yan’s moral standards were very high. He ignored her previous seductive behavior, attributing everything to his own indulgence. In his mind, she was immature, not sensible enough; even if she was tempting, it was his mistake as an elder for not resisting.
The tall monster’s pale lips were tightly sealed as he approached the kitten, looking her straight in the eye, seeming like a penitent sinner seriously confessing his recent mistake. His voice was steady and calm, sincere and remorseful.
He said, “I’m sorry.”
He said, “It was lust that clouded my judgment.”
His reaction surprised the kitten.
She lay on the bed, stunned for a while.
She saw him sitting in front of her, ready to take any punishment or scolding like the mermaid.
Shu Tang thought he was really a bit too easy to bully, and a bit silly. It was she who had sought him out first, but now he acted as if he had committed a great sin.
The monster thought she would continue to be angry, would drive him out, and never want to see him, the sinner, again.
But she didn’t—
She even began to joke about her lover.
She asked him softly, “What did you think I came here for today, just to chat?”
Her smile began to grow, followed by uncontrollable laughter, rolling on the bed with laughter.
Hugging the blanket, she told him, “Little Rose, you are really cute right now.”
The man fell silent for a moment.
The kitten even came closer, giggling and mocking him.
Zhu Yan had been enduring her teasing and ridicule all along.
Only his pale fingers silently straightened out his messy clothes.
But there is a saying: Erupt in silence.
He pressed her back onto the bed.
The mocked leader did something.
For instance, he pinned her down on the bed in a standard restraining position, thoughtfully handing her a pillow. After adjusting her position to ensure she wouldn’t fall off the bed, he said coldly, “Hold on.”
Then, he took off his watch and glanced at the time.
She panicked and crawled forward, only to be pulled back.
She turned her head, pleading with him to stay calm.
Zhu Yan said, “I am calm.”
Frightened, she used his own words against him, telling Zhu Yan that he was committing a crime.
Zhu Yan replied calmly, “After this is over, you can call someone to arrest me.”
She: “…”
She began to struggle, exaggerating her fear. She asked him if he wanted to kill her, warning that if he continued, he would lose his precious beloved forever.
Calmly, he told her that he had trained many alpha soldiers before and had precise control over physical endurance.
She turned back, shocked.
He told her she could start praying now.
But not to make any noise, because he was very angry.
…
Shu Tang always thought mermaids were easy to bully.
Once the mermaid turned back into Zhu Yan from ten years ago, she thought he looked even more bully-able. He seemed like the kind of nice guy who wouldn’t get angry even if you climbed on his head.
But angering someone with a good temperament is clearly a terrifying thing.
Shu Tang regretted it.
After realizing she couldn’t even bully the more vulnerable Zhu Yan, she sadly concluded that she might never have a chance to turn her life around.
She felt a lack of dignity, but after recalling the achievements of Little Rose, she realized that everyone seemed quite insignificant in his presence. Shu Tang comforted herself: It wasn’t that she was too weak; it was that the enemy was too strong.
As the afternoon came to an end, dusk had settled.
She no longer wore the silk nightgown with a single tie, instead dutifully changing back into her conservative, long nightgown that she normally wore. She also refrained from impulsively kissing or hugging him as she had done before. Because the mermaid’s memory was temporarily disordered, looking at the seemingly vulnerable Little Rose these past few days, she felt an urge to tease him a little.
But now, she sat honestly in the kitchen waiting for the mermaid to prepare dinner, not insisting on sitting on his tail while eating as she had done the previous days.
She softly called out, “Mr. Zhu, is dinner ready?”
Mr. Zhu paused in his movements, a slight smile barely noticeable on his lips.
The mermaid, having recovered his memories, had clearly improved a lot in his cooking skills.
At least after she finished eating, she chose to forgive.
They both watched today’s weather forecast together.
Then they lay on the same bed, listening to the sound of the tide outside, gazing at the moonlight together, and looking at their intertwined fingers wearing a pair of blue rose matching rings.
By now, the monster had finally believed that she was his lover and that everything was real and happiness truly lay in his embrace.
Yet, the monster still harbored doubts about being able to have all this.
He repeatedly confirmed this with his little cat.
Shu Tang wasn’t bothered by this at all. The mermaid had always been like this—although he wouldn’t say it, he needed constant reassurance of her love.
So, she told him—how they fell in love and how they met.
For instance, it took him many lessons to learn how to speak, a week just to learn a single word.
After listening for a while, the monster bluntly revealed: “He was doing it on purpose.”
No one knew him better than himself, his learning ability was strong; it was impossible for him to learn that slowly.
Shu Tang then asked him, “Do you think you would do the same?”
Mr. Zhu was silent for a moment, then let out a scornful, cold laugh.
Just as Shu Tang thought that the former great leader from ten years ago would never do such a thing.
He admitted, “Of course I would.”
Shu Tang: “.…”
She then brought up some minor things, like how she often asked him to dry his hair quickly after coming ashore to warm up, but the mermaid never learned.
The monster thought to himself:
—Why would he change that habit when she would dry his hair after he came ashore?
But this point, the monster did not cruelly reveal.
Because he also decided to do the same.
They continued their gentle and detailed discussions as the moon slowly climbed up the trees.
After a while, the monster suddenly said, “I’m somewhat jealous.”
After a while, he finally admitted it, murmuring, “No, it’s not just a little.”
—He was dying of jealousy.
The kitten began to laugh, a smug laugh, and if she had a tail, it would surely be swishing high and proud.
Zhu Yan asked her, “Then why doesn’t he have this memory?”
The kitten told him, “Because all this happens ten years in the future.”
He said, “So, I just need to wait ten years to be with you?”
But she said:
“You don’t need to wait that long.”
“Just sleep through one night, and when you wake up, I’ll be right beside you.”