Being held by him as a fox didn’t feel strange, but now that he was in human form, it felt incredibly awkward.
Su Xuan had yet to retract his hand. With a slight pull, he brought Sang Dai, who had moved a little away, back into place. This time, however, he withdrew his hand and no longer rested it on her waist.
He closed his eyes and said, “Sleep a bit longer.”
Sang Dai: “…”
This felt so strange. They were still lying on the same bed, and yet he could say that so casually, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Almost as though they were…
Sang Dai spoke, “Su Xuan.”
His eyes remained closed. “Mm.”
Sang Dai asked softly, “Why are my meridians… healing so quickly?”
She had been on the brink of death earlier, yet now she didn’t even feel pain.
Su Xuan replied, “I used the Immortal Velvet Grass on you.”
Sang Dai: “…What?”
Su Xuan opened his eyes and said, “Your Golden Core has been repaired.”
For a moment, Sang Dai thought Su Xuan was joking. She blinked, but her eyes felt hot.
Cautiously, she probed her dantian…
Her previously half-shattered Golden Core, riddled with cracks and brimming with deathly stillness, had only remained intact thanks to Su Xuan’s spiritual power.
But now…
It was a smooth and flawless Golden Core, floating in her dantian. Warm, powerful spiritual energy flowed from it, nourishing her meridians.
Sang Dai turned her wrist and gathered spiritual energy. A small ball of water formed in her palm.
“I… the Immortal Velvet Grass… how could it…”
Su Xuan lay flat on the bed, his hands casually folded behind his head, speaking lazily. “Don’t worry. A kind soul gave it to me, and I paid her for it.”
He’d had Liu Lixue burn an uncountable amount of spirit paper money.
Sang Dai was perplexed. “…A kind soul?”
She locked eyes with Su Xuan.
Su Xuan: “Yes.”
[It was a vengeful ghost who gave it to me. She seems quite fond of Dai Dai. I had planned to force Fu You to reveal the location of the Immortal Velvet Grass, but… why couldn’t I see through that ghost’s cultivation level?]
A slight frown appeared on Su Xuan’s forehead.
Sang Dai: “…”
She knew who it was.
Ling Yin was no ordinary vengeful ghost. She possessed self-awareness and high cultivation. It must have been Ling Yin who had taken the Immortal Velvet Grass, and now she had returned it. As far as Sang Dai knew, Ling Yin might be the only Tribulation-stage ghost left in the cultivation world.
But what was her purpose in doing all this?
Sang Dai lowered her gaze, lost in thought.
Ling Yin had abducted her from Su Xuan’s side and unlocked her restrictions. That incident had caused her to recall those buried memories. Coincidentally, Sang Wenzhou had been nearby, discovered her restrictions were gone, and decided to risk everything to kill her, fearing she might reveal the Sword Sect’s conspiracy.
But was it truly a coincidence that Sang Wenzhou and the Sword Sect happened to be there?
From this perspective, everything Ling Yin had done seemed to be harming her.
Yet, on the other hand, Ling Yin had taught her how to use the Tianyu Stone, revealed glimpses of the heavenly secrets, seemingly hoping Sang Dai could survive and change her fate. She had even handed over the Immortal Velvet Grass hidden in the Burning Heaven Realm to Su Xuan, allowing him to repair Sang Dai’s Golden Core.
So, did Ling Yin want her to live or die?
“What are you thinking about?”
A clear and cold voice sounded by her ear.
Sang Dai snapped out of her thoughts, startled to realize she had been spacing out in front of Su Xuan.
She shook her head. “Just thinking about some things.”
Su Xuan wouldn’t take the initiative to ask about her affairs. Sang Dai didn’t have to tell him everything, and he didn’t press her for details.
“The Immortal Velvet Grass is in hand, but the Heaven-grade spiritual root hasn’t been found yet. It’s likely still in the Burning Heaven Realm. We’ll need to stay in Bairen Alley a while longer, find a chance to reenter, and investigate the person behind the Immortal Velvet Grass and the spiritual root. I’ll make sure to uncover the truth,” Su Xuan said.
“…Alright,” Sang Dai replied. Then she asked, “What about the Immortal Realm cultivators?”
“The Sword Sect has returned. You killed their Sect Master and three elders this time, gravely injuring many Immortal Realm disciples. The Immortal Alliance is set on convicting you. They’ll issue a bounty for your capture soon. Bairen Alley won’t be peaceful for a while.”
There would likely be hidden currents and cultivators from various factions lurking around.
As for their motives…
Su Xuan’s gaze darkened as he looked at Sang Dai, unable to conceal the killing intent flickering in his eyes.
Sang Dai simply nodded. “I understand.”
Su Xuan said dismissively, “Just a group of trash, skilled at scheming, but let’s see if they dare to touch what belongs to me. You don’t need to worry.”
Sang Dai, however, quietly asked, “Su Xuan, do you believe me?”
Su Xuan snorted coldly. “Of course I believe you. You’re not clever enough to lie. You’re straightforward, stubborn, foolish, and simple.”
Sang Dai smiled faintly. “I didn’t even tell you what it was about.”
Su Xuan shifted onto his side, lying face-to-face with her. Their gazes met as he said, “I believe everything about you.”
[Whatever you say, whatever you do, even if the whole world doesn’t believe you, I do.]
Sang Dai’s eyes suddenly stung with unshed tears.
Su Xuan mistook her reaction for pain and quickly asked, “Does it still hurt?”
Sang Dai shook her head. “It doesn’t hurt.”
“Really doesn’t hurt?”
[Little liar. You cried the whole time while your Golden Core was being repaired. It hurt so much that you were in tears.]
Sang Dai’s lips parted slightly, but no words came out.
Had she cried?
Even she didn’t know. Before she passed out, it had hurt terribly, as if her entire body was splitting apart, from the inside out.
While unconscious, she had no awareness—no sense of how long she had slept or what had happened during that time.
In a soft voice, she explained, “It really doesn’t hurt now. Su Xuan, thank you.”
The two of them fell silent, neither speaking for a long time.
Sang Dai lowered her eyes, her gaze landing on his black inner robe. His silver hair hung down, smooth and silky like satin.
“Sang Dai,” Su Xuan said.
“Mm?”
She raised her eyes to look at him.
“Sorry,” he said.
Sang Dai hesitated. “…Sorry for what?”
Su Xuan replied, “For bringing you in and failing to protect you. I’ll find whoever was behind this and kill them to make amends.”
He always seemed like this, always putting her before himself. Clearly, he was a Beast King, a powerhouse of the Four Realms, yet in front of her, he seemed more like a loyal little dog.
Su Xuan really treated her very, very well.
She was the one who should apologize. Why would he owe her any apology?
“Su Xuan… the one who should be saying sorry is me.”
Sang Dai looked into his eyes. She had seen those eyes many times before, and they always revealed his most genuine feelings.
They were beautiful eyes, stunning every time she looked into them.
“Su Xuan, I’ve never actually hated you,” she said.
Su Xuan was startled.
[Dai Dai…]
Sang Dai continued, “The reason I fought with you was because of our opposing stances. You’re the Beast King, yet you kept showing up at the Sword Sect. I couldn’t just sit back and let that happen.”
Su Xuan’s inner voice sounded a little aggrieved:
[But I only wanted to see you…]
Sang Dai’s lips curved into a smile. “But I’ve always admired you too. You’re my strongest opponent. In this world, only you can give me the thrill of fighting for months on end. When it comes to swordsmanship, you’ve helped me a lot.”
Su Xuan snorted softly, “Miss Sang still has some conscience, I see.”
Sang Dai’s smile grew. “When I was in the Sword Sect, it was lonely. No one talked to me, except for you, who came around every so often. Even if it was just to fight—even though you always had a sharp tongue—I liked talking to you.”
Su Xuan’s lips pressed into a thin line. This time, he didn’t respond aloud.
Even his inner voice was unusually quiet.
Sang Dai’s eyes grew red at the corners. In a soft voice, she said, “I may look calm and indifferent, as if I can accept everything—leaving, arriving, leaving again. Everyone says I’m reclusive, strong but heartless. But Su Xuan, I’m not like that.”
She covered her eyes, blocking the tears threatening to spill over, and whispered, “I just really want someone to stay with me.”
“Sang Dai… don’t say anymore.”
He was heartbroken.
But Sang Dai didn’t stop. She continued, voicing the thoughts that had been buried deep within her heart.
“Su Xuan, in the past, I often wondered—what did I do wrong to spend my whole life losing everything?”
“My biological parents abandoned me, my adoptive parents used me, my master left me, and in the end, the Immortal Realm, which I had always protected, turned its weapons on me. They set up the Ten Thousand Kill Formation to annihilate me, yet I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“As a daughter, I respected my parents, obedient and well-behaved. As a disciple, I practiced diligently and remembered everything my master taught me. As a Heaven-grade spiritual root awakener, I wielded my sword to protect the peace of the Immortal Realm and never dared to forget my duty.”
“But why… why have I been so unhappy?”
Her happiest moments, ironically, had been in the Beast Realm.
Cui Shao cared for her, Changmang played with her, Su Xuan stayed by her side, and Liu Lixue helped heal her injuries. Everyone in the Beast Palace had treated her so, so well.
Even when crying, Sang Dai was quiet. She was always silent and reserved, calmly accepting everything that came her way.
Yet tears rolled down her cheeks, pooling on the bridge of her nose and soaking the brocade pillow beneath her.
Su Xuan’s heart ached terribly, as if a knife were slicing through his chest. He reached out to wipe her tears but hesitated and withdrew his hand before touching her.
He watched her for a long time, not saying a word, giving her the space to release her emotions. Time passed, long enough for her nose to turn bright red from crying, before he finally moved.
Sang Dai, with her eyes covered, couldn’t see him, but she smelled his faint scent of grass and wood. Then, a warm hand touched her cheek.
He wiped away her tears. His broad hand could easily cover her entire face, and though his fingertips were slightly calloused, he was careful, gentle, as if handling a fragile porcelain doll.
The Sword Sect had once held her high, only to shatter her.
But he was the one painstakingly piecing her back together, protecting her in the palm of his hand.
Sang Dai’s tears, which had only just stopped, began to flow again, spilling even more freely.
Su Xuan’s voice was soft as he said, “Sang Dai, no one is more important than you.”
For so many years, everyone she had encountered had told her:
“You should dedicate yourself to cultivation and protect the peace of the Four Realms.”
“You should be loyal and obedient and fight for the Immortal Realm.”
“You should die for the future of the Immortal Realm, go and die in battle.”
You are not yourself. You are a Heaven-grade spiritual root awakener.
You are the sharpest sword.
But Su Xuan was the only one who told her:
“No one is more important than you.”
Sang Dai lowered her hands from her eyes, her tear-streaked, reddened gaze meeting Su Xuan’s. She made no effort to hide her tears from him.
Their eyes met, but this time, she couldn’t hear the tumult of his inner voice.
He remained quiet, simply gazing at her and gently wiping away her tears.
Sang Dai broke the silence and asked him:
“Su Xuan, can I sleep until morning before getting up?”
“You can.”
“Su Xuan, can I eat whatever I feel like eating?”
“You can.”
“Su Xuan, can I skip sword practice and slack off?”
“You can.”
“Su Xuan.”
“I’m here.”
Sang Dai looked into his eyes and softly asked:
“Can I hug you?”
—
TL: This chapter is so long I had to divide it by 4 but so sweet and heartbreakingggg!!!