“Waiter, I’d like to order a serving of live human brain.”
In a dim corner, a ghost creature with only half a head spoke hoarsely. Its brainstem had already been hollowed out, and two bloody eyeballs, connected to exposed optic nerves, dangled just beneath the sockets.
It seemed this was a ghost creature seeking to heal form with form.
“Sorry, sir, that dish isn’t available,” Qing Li said with a smile.
“I order this dish every day. How could it not be available?” The ghost’s blood-red eyeballs stared fixedly at Qing Li.
That look clearly already regarded Qing Li as a ready-to-eat dish.
Qing Li blinked and said honestly, “Because if I say it’s not available, then it’s not available.”
“You’re looking for death.”
The ghost was enraged, its mouth tearing open in an exaggerated arc as it suddenly lunged at Qing Li.
“Crack—”
Qing Li raised the large cleaver in her hand—blade rose, blade fell.
The ghost, already missing half its head, had the other half chopped off again. Its arm was also sliced cleanly off in the process.
Qing Li steadily caught the flying piece of skull, then held it out in front of the ghost.
“No human brain, but plenty of ghost brains. Since this headless customer loves to eat brains, I suggest self-sufficiency.”
The ghost was stunned by Qing Li’s actions. Holding his quarter of a brain, he actually felt, for a moment, that what she said made sense.
But…
“Then why did you chop off my arm?”
“Oh, that’s my tip,” Qing Li replied with a cheerful smile.
Ghost: “…”
A whole arm as a tip—that costs more than the meal!
“Any other customers need to order? If not, I’ll check back later,” Qing Li called out loudly.
The previously rowdy second-floor hall fell into a deathly silence.
This human… something was off.
They were supposed to be the ghosts, but why did she seem scarier than a ghost?
“Waiter, I’d like to order a whole roasted human. Roast it live. The ingredient should be between 12 and 18 years old. If it’s too old, the meat gets stringy—I don’t like that. Be sure to use plenty of chili, and don’t add cumin,” said a ghost creature whose entire body was charred.
“Sorry, this dish isn’t available either,” Qing Li said.
“Damn it, this isn’t available, that isn’t available—how about I just use you as my ingredient instead?” The charred ghost stuck out a crimson tongue and licked his lips, blackened like burnt charcoal, staring greedily at Qing Li.
“Dear customer, I think your temper’s a little too hot. I suggest you cool off before continuing with your order.”
At some point, a fire extinguisher had appeared in Qing Li’s hand. She swung it without warning straight at the charred ghost’s head.
“Bang—”
The ghost’s head was smashed, brain matter splattering everywhere.
On the other side, the ghost who had been eating its own brain caught the scent of roasted brain flower. At once, it tossed aside its half-head and cradled the charred ghost’s skull, slurping away.
Wow. Delicious.
At this scene, the second-floor restaurant fell into an even deeper silence.
They were clearly starving. The buffet was right in front of them.
But…
No one dared open their mouth to order.
[Making the little village girl a server… let’s spare a second of sympathy for the restaurant owner.]
[These ghost creatures will need a lifetime of therapy to recover from the trauma.]
[They just wanted a meal, but ended up with a banquet of beheaded heads.]
[Daily poll: Who’s scarier, the little village girl or the ghost creatures? Cast your votes now.]
The results came in quickly—
Little Village Girl: 888,997 votes.
Ghost Creatures: 383 votes.
“Hey, waiter, I’d like to order.”
At last, one ghost bravely raised his hand.
The other ghosts all looked at him with admiration—warrior! The vital task of restoring ghostly dignity rests on you!
Go! You’ve got this!
“What would you like to order, sir?” Qing Li walked over with a smile.
The male ghost trembled as Qing Li approached and said in a quivering voice, “I’d like… a serving of garlic stir-fried broccoli. I’m a vegetarian ghost.”
Qing Li smiled. “Alright, customer. Please wait a moment.”
The ghost creatures on the second floor let out a collective sigh of relief—finally… a ghost successfully placed an order!
“Waiter, I’d like a cold enoki mushroom salad. I prefer self-sufficiency—eating while pooping, pooping while eating.”
“……”
“No orders from the second-floor guests today?”
A handsome man with red markings across his face looked up toward the second floor. Seeing not a single order slip, he frowned.
“None. Not even one. I find it strange too,” the cashier replied, scratching her head—her finger even digging into her scalp without her noticing.
At that moment, Qing Li strolled down lazily from the second floor.
The man’s expression flickered with a hint of surprise upon seeing she was still alive.
“Why haven’t the second-floor guests placed any orders?” The man quickly concealed the astonishment in his eyes and looked toward Qing Li.
Qing Li waved the order slip in her hand and said happily, “The guests already ordered! I’m about to go to the kitchen and urge the chefs to speed up.”
“Give me the order slip,” the man ordered.
Qing Li raised an eyebrow and handed it over.
Upon seeing the crooked handwriting and dishes full of misspellings, the man’s mouth twitched.
suan-fried xilan flower, cold mixed golden needle aunt1“Cold mixed golden needle aunt” is a mistranslation and a deliberate joke on “凉拌金针菇” (liáng bàn jīn zhēn gū), which means: Cold Dressed Enoki Mushrooms., oil-poured oil wheat pick, green-fried four-season bean…
What the hell kind of nonsense is this?!
“These dishes aren’t on our menu,” the man said coldly.
“What?!”
Hearing that, Qing Li’s voice instantly rose.
“These dishes were all personally ordered by the guests, and you’re saying they don’t exist?”
“The customers are all eagerly waiting for their food right now. If our dear guests go hungry, can you take responsibility?”
“What kind of restaurant lets its customers starve? I say just settle my paycheck and shut this place down!”
Veins bulged on the man’s temples—he really wanted to rip that woman’s mouth apart…
Also, you’ve only been working for one hour—what damn paycheck are you talking about?!
“Take the order slip down and have the chefs figure out how to make the dishes,” the man finally said, handing it over to the cashier to relay the message.
Seeing this, Qing Li finally said with satisfaction, “The second-floor guests are still waiting for my warm and enthusiastic service. I’ll go continue entertaining them.”
She clattered back up the stairs.
The man’s eyes remained fixed on Qing Li’s disappearing figure…
On the second floor, seeing Qing Li return so quickly, the ghost creatures who had just breathed a sigh of relief instantly tensed up again.
“Dear guests, your orders have already been sent to the kitchen. Please be patient,” Qing Li said with a warm, considerate smile.
The ghost creatures: ……
They didn’t want to eat anymore—they just wanted to go home.
Suddenly, a stir ran through the ghost crowd. Their expressions filled with unease and nervousness as they looked behind Qing Li.
Sensing something was off, Qing Li quickly turned around. When she saw the familiar face, she smiled and said, “Doctor Chu, welcome to Starving Ghost Restaurant. I’m the second-floor server, Qing Li. I’m very happy to serve you.”
Chu Ci, dressed in a black suit, had a flawless, handsome face. His pale complexion seemed veiled in a thin layer of frost, exuding an aura of chilling unapproachability.
But the moment he saw Qing Li, that sharp coldness faded. Chu Ci gave a faint smile and said, “Hello. Could I trouble you to take my order?”
He casually found a seat and sat down. His elegant, noble presence was completely out of place among the ghost creatures.
“Doctor Chu, let me quietly tell you—this restaurant’s hygiene is absolutely terrible. I suggest you don’t eat anything from here,” Qing Li whispered in a low voice.
“That’s a shame. I heard this place had a good reputation, so I came specifically to try the food,” Chu Ci said with a trace of regret.
Qing Li raised an eyebrow. Suddenly remembering something, she smiled and said, “Doctor Chu, how about we make a deal? You answer one question, and I’ll treat you to a dish.”
“Of course,” Chu Ci agreed without hesitation, even looking forward to what she might ask.
“Doctor Chu, how old are you?”
Chu Ci: “If calculated from the time I was created, I should be 537 years old.”
To her surprise, Chu Ci was even older than the founder of their Daoist temple.
True to her word, Qing Li purchased a steak from the system and placed it in front of Chu Ci.
“Doctor Chu, are you single?”
“Single.”
“How many relationships have you had?”
“Zero.”
“Doctor Chu, do you prefer humans, ghost creatures, or something in between?”
This question made Chu Ci fall silent for a moment before answering: “I think I prefer humans who are even more ruthless than ghost creatures.”
Hearing that answer, Qing Li was slightly disappointed.
It seemed she didn’t meet Chu Ci’s standards for a partner.
After all, she was so gentle, cute, and kind…! (TL: Self awareness = 0)
At this moment, the table in front of Chu Ci was already piled high with dishes.
The other ravenous ghost creatures caught the scent and began swallowing hungrily, drooling like mad.
“Waiter! Why does he get all the good food and drinks while we get nothing?” one of the ghost creatures complained in frustration.
Qing Li put away her smile and replied coldly, “He’s handsome—he gets special treatment. Now look at you lot, each and every one of you looking like… well, a proper ghost. What are you expecting, a free bike?”
The ghost creatures: “……”
Damn it.
They just got ghost-shamed by a human!