I finally found the file again! ߹𖥦߹
Outside the door, the person she longed to meet even in her dreams was just standing there amidst the boundless snow and moonlight.
The snow was falling heavier and heavier. He was draped in a silver-gray cloak, head lowered as he spoke with someone.
Xie Miao’er stood behind the carved shadow wall, staring at him in a daze.
His figure was still tall and straight, his brows and eyes the same as before, but his gaze now carried something she could no longer comprehend.
Perhaps it was the icy wind that froze Xie Miao’er’s thoughts. Looking at him not far away, she found herself completely at a loss as to what to do.
Had he seen her? Should she lift her skirt hem and run toward him, greeting him with a “long time no see”?
At seventeen or eighteen, a young man had yet to fully grow. After being apart for half a year, he had grown taller. If she were to stand beside him now, she would need to tilt her head upward to see him.
He had become… a bit unfamiliar.
After all, the days they had been apart had already far exceeded the time they had spent together.
Xie Miao’er thought about this aimlessly.
The night was the perfect cover. No one noticed her faint silhouette behind the shadow wall. The person he had been speaking with suddenly darted past her, shouting toward the inner courtyard as he ran, “Third Master, Madam, the young master is back!”
Back.
The entire reason for her being in this era was about to brush past her, right in front of her eyes.
Lowering her head, Xie Miao’er unconsciously gripped the handle of the umbrella in her hand so tightly that her knuckles turned white.
The edge of a robe, soaked by the wind and rain, stopped in front of her umbrella.
“It’s late. Go back.” Lu Huaihai said.
The umbrella’s surface obscured Xie Miao’er’s view. Her heart raced wildly. Just as she was about to lift the umbrella higher to get a better look at him, he leaned down and slipped under her umbrella.
Lu Huaihai’s eyes were bright, with countless half-melted snowflakes caught in his hair. The chill he carried came in with him.
Xie Miao’er was startled. Before she could process his sudden closeness, the umbrella handle tightly gripped in her palm was already taken away by him.
Lu Huaihai said, “Hold on to me.”
Xie Miao’er straightened her neck and looked up at him.
When he spoke, he didn’t look at her at all. His cold, star-like pupils remained fixed on the road beneath his feet.
Feeling a little wronged, Xie Miao’er sniffled, lowered her head, and said, “You’re finally back.”
The person holding the umbrella faltered for a moment. Ignoring the faint reproach in her words, he gave a soft “Hmm.”
Xie Miao’er walked a step to his side, barely half a foot away. She could hardly feel any warmth emanating from his body, only that he seemed like a block of unmelting ice, as if freshly chiseled from a cellar.
She asked him, “Aren’t you cold?”
It must have been cold—this kind of snow, half-melted yet not, was the coldest. With just a bit of wind, it would feel like blades scraping against your skin.
Not to mention Lu Huaihai, who had been racing home with a sense of urgency. After tying up loose ends, he hadn’t even waited until morning, pushing his horse hard to arrive before the curfew.
Yet he merely replied lightly, “Cold, which is why I’m sending you back first.”
It was then that Xie Miao’er realized the road they were on led to the servant quarters. Keenly picking up on Lu Huaihai’s choice of words, she instinctively asked, “What about you?”
She originally wanted to ask, “Then aren’t you going back?”
But soon, she remembered that the servant quarters were not his residence to begin with, so how could he “go back”? Previously, when he stayed temporarily with her, wasn’t it simply because he was at odds with his family?
For some reason, Xie Miao’er felt that the current him would no longer do something like arguing with his father and then retreating to her courtyard in defiance.
He had matured a lot.
Moreover, he had already proven himself with his abilities. From now on, neither the Lu family nor his father would try to hinder him anymore.
Lu Huaihai didn’t know the many thoughts running through her mind. After a brief pause, he said, “There’s still something I need to take care of.”
Xie Miao’er quickly composed her delicate feelings and replied, “Alright.”
Then, she added, “It’s fine if you just walk with me to here. You should go back first and let Father and Mother know you’re safe! Take the umbrella with you—it’s just a short way back for me!”
As she spoke, Xie Miao’er prepared to run out from under the umbrella.
Lu Huaihai’s expression turned serious, and he directly grabbed her shoulder, pulling her back under the umbrella.
Xie Miao’er struggled, but his arm, like it was made of iron, pressed firmly against her shoulder, making it impossible for her to break free.
Sensing her resistance, Lu Huaihai relaxed his grip slightly but still kept her close by his side. “What are you running for?”
“Well, weren’t you in a hurry to come back and let the family know you’re safe?” she said with sincere understanding. “You’re already frozen like this. Just take the umbrella and head back—I’ll be fine walking the rest of the way myself.”
Lu Huaihai let out a faint sigh.
She could guess that his coldness was due to rushing back and braving the icy winds, so why couldn’t she figure out the real reason he was doing this?
Fool.
Lu Huaihai shifted the umbrella slightly toward her and, without hesitation, stole a glance at her head nestled under his arm.
Forget it. At least this gave him a valid excuse to hold her close.
At first, Xie Miao’er felt awkward being held by him. But since she couldn’t break free, and his broad shoulders carried a pleasant scent, she simply let him be.
Amid the wind and snow, that small, quiet courtyard appeared before them like a secluded paradise.
Only after ensuring that Xie Miao’er had returned safely did Lu Huaihai finally turn around and leave.
The snow fell onto the surface of the umbrella, making a muffled, hollow sound—not exactly pleasant, but not unpleasant either.
He walked at an extremely slow pace, savoring the sound of the snow falling as he strolled down the narrow path alone.
Only then did he realize he had forgotten to ask her why she had come out so late.
Lu Huaihai smiled inwardly at his hesitation, though his expression gradually darkened.
He remembered that when he left, it had been early morning.
The night before his departure, he had closed his eyes but hadn’t slept a wink. She hadn’t been able to sleep either, secretly lifting the curtain in the middle of the night to steal glances at him, thinking he didn’t know.
No matter how hot the day, the morning wind was always cold. He had been afraid that the wind would bring a few tears to her eyes, making it harder for him to leave. So the next morning, he hadn’t woken her and had left quietly.
Their time together had always been plain, peaceful, and unremarkable.
That was until he entered the real battlefield.
The memories became tinged with the deep red of blood. The budding emotions of a young man were quickly overshadowed by the greater duty to his nation.
For the first time, he felt an unsettling sense of confusion.
Lu Huaihai’s rational mind knew that such emotions were detrimental to making the right decisions, so he forcibly suppressed them all.
To be fair, they had only spent a little over two months together, and nothing life-altering had happened. He was aware of his feelings of attraction toward Xie Miao’er, but it couldn’t be described as anything too deep.
When he first started training at the camp, he would still think of her occasionally. But once he was truly on the battlefield, with his blade stained with blood, comrades’ and enemies’ heads rolling in the mud, and his own life hanging by a thread more than once, he had no time to think about vague, elusive feelings of love.
After all, he wasn’t someone who was naturally sentimental. Even his ties to blood relatives were sometimes faint.
But once the battle was over, and the invading pirates were either dead or fleeing, his blood, once burning hot, began to cool. That was when her voice resurfaced in his mind.
She had said to him, “You must come back safe.”
So he found the fastest warhorse and raced through the wind.
As soon as he returned to the manor, he happened to catch sight of Xie Miao’er hiding behind the shadow wall.
The moment he saw her, Lu Huaihai realized that all his prior restraint had been futile. The snow that had weighed down on his heart melted completely, leaving only a tender flush of warmth.
If he couldn’t restrain himself, then he wouldn’t, he thought.
Lu Huaihai walked very slowly, slow enough to sort through all his hidden thoughts.
Afterward, he first went to the main courtyard to visit the old lady before heading east.
At the East Courtyard, the lights were lively, and the gates were wide open.
Without hesitation, Lu Huaihai strode inside.
Lu Paizhang saw him come in and didn’t say much. He simply patted him on the back and said, “Eat first.”
Madam Su and Lu Baozhu were already seated at the dining table, waiting.
Lu Baozhu’s condition had improved significantly. If no one mentioned her illness, at first glance, she looked no different from an ordinary young lady of her age.
Lu Huaihai wasn’t used to this kind of atmosphere.
The last time the four of them had sat down together for a meal like this, he couldn’t even recall when it had been.
During his time away from home, it seemed the family dynamics had undergone subtle changes.
The table was set with simple home-cooked dishes. Since it was cold, they had added a steaming hot pot to the meal.
Through the swirling steam, Madam Su served a bowl of soup and handed it to Lu Huaihai.
He accepted it, saying, “Thank you, Mother.”
Lu Paizhang said, “It’s been so hard for you to come back. Since today is a family reunion, there’s no need to fuss about the old ‘no talking during meals’ rule.”
Though he said so, during the dinner conversation between the parents and their son, there was a tacit agreement to avoid mentioning his six-month absence. Instead, they chatted about trivial, harmless topics to lighten the mood.
Aware of this unspoken arrangement, Lu Huaihai said very little, offering vague responses whenever a question was directed at him.
After dinner, the maids came in to clear away the hot pot. Madam Su took Lu Baozhu and left the dining room.
Soon, only father and son remained at the table.
Lu Paizhang carefully observed his son.
In the past, he had been reckless, full of youthful bravado but lacking substance. Now, after the tempering of the battlefield, he had finally become a sharpened blade.
“You’ve done well,” Lu Paizhang said. “A few days ago, Meng Cheng came in person to recommend you. He’s someone who admires talent. For him to favor you shows that you’re truly capable. It’s me, your father, who has been holding you back.”
Lu Huaihai replied, his tone cool, “This son would not dare.”
“‘Would not dare’? In truth, you dare to do everything. Do you think I don’t know you?”
Lu Paizhang stood up, snorting lightly through his nose. Lu Huaihai followed suit and rose to his feet.
Only then did Lu Paizhang realize that his son was now much taller than him, with a broad, sturdy back that was no longer thin and frail.
This made Lu Paizhang question whether his control over his son in the past had been right or wrong.
“With your outstanding military achievements, Meng Cheng has already submitted your name for commendation. Soon, you’ll receive the rewards you deserve. In public matters, you’ve done very well this time.”
Coming from the always-strict Lu Paizhang, even such sparse praise was rare.
Lu Huaihai listened but remained unmoved.
Because the real point was in the next sentence.
“In private matters, leaving without a word and causing worry to your elders and relatives—this is an act of great disrespect.”
Lu Paizhang’s tone turned cold. “Tell me, how should an unfilial son be dealt with?”
—
Yue Chuang had personally seen Lu Huaihai escort Xie Miao’er back and now couldn’t hold back her teasing as she reported to her mistress, “Mistress, our Young Master, the very first thing he did after returning was come to find you. Isn’t that something?”
Xie Miao’er lightly pushed her with the back of her hand, saying, “It was just a coincidence. I happened to come out through the side gate and ran into him.”
Though she said this, now that Lu Huaihai had returned, the stone weighing on her heart had finally settled, and even her appetite improved. She ate half a bowl more at dinner.
Yue Chuang, acting as though she had made a major discovery, added more food to her bowl and said, “Oh dear, now that the Young Master is back, even your meals taste better. All the weight you lost over the past few months can finally be regained.”
Xie Miao’er glared at the maid, but her gaze had no real bite to it.
Yue Chuang was someone who knew her boundaries well. After teasing her lightly, she restrained herself and returned to her work.
However, Xie Miao’er’s mind had already flown away with Lu Huaihai. She washed up early, then sat cross-legged at the edge of her bed, knotting a net.
Her thoughts were entirely scattered, making it impossible for her to concentrate on anything requiring mental effort, such as bookkeeping or reading. Since she cherished every healthy day she had and couldn’t bear to stay idle, she busied herself with the mindless task of knotting the net.
But as she worked, her thoughts drifted further, and she tangled the threads multiple times. Frustrated, she eventually tossed it aside.
Leaning against the bedpost, Xie Miao’er gazed out through the lattice windows at the falling snow. She wondered whether he would come to see her tonight.
Their earlier meeting had been rushed, and there were still so many things she hadn’t had the chance to say to him.
She waited until very late, but he never showed up. Even Yue Chuang came by cautiously, knocking on the window once to urge her to rest.
Xie Miao’er let out a white breath, watching as it dissipated into the air. In the end, she curled up beneath the quilt.
Though she hadn’t held high hopes, she couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed.
Lying in the darkness beneath the bed canopy, Xie Miao’er comforted herself: it’s fine. If the mountain won’t come to me, I’ll go to the mountain. Tomorrow, she could go find him.
Just as she was thinking this, she suddenly heard an urgent knocking at the courtyard door.
Someone was pounding on the gate.
Xie Miao’er sat up in shock, and Yue Chuang was already slipping on her shoes to answer it.
She asked the visitor, “It’s the middle of the night—what could be so urgent that you’d disturb my mistress?”
The visitor was a servant from the East Courtyard. He spoke in an anxious tone, “The Young Master is in trouble, and we were sent to ask Mistress to come quickly!”
Xie Miao’er had just pulled on her cloak and was walking toward the door. Hearing this, she hurriedly rushed over and asked, “What happened?”
The servant, clearly flustered, replied, “Mistress, please follow me to the East Courtyard—you’ll understand when you get there.”
Without saying another word, Xie Miao’er followed him.
Yue Chuang, quick-witted as always, returned to the room in just a moment to fetch a hand warmer, which she handed to Xie Miao’er. She then accompanied her mistress toward the East Courtyard.