The emperor casually mentioned an old story from the past but did not continue the topic, leaving Gao Yuexing to wrestle with tumultuous emotions on her own.
He turned his thoughts entirely toward Li Fuxiang. Raising his hand, he pinched Li Fuxiang’s cheek, as though wanting to say something. He opened his mouth but ultimately couldn’t speak.
Of course, the root of everything lay with him.
He had almost poisoned his own son—the one he should have cherished the most.
In fact, when it came to regrets that could never be undone, the emperor was the one who could empathize most deeply.
On a silent night, without the usual throng of palace attendants around him, the emperor spoke to his son: “The pain of a white-haired man burying a black-haired one—I have experienced it once and do not wish for a second time.”
Li Fuxiang always had this ability.
In the morning, he could make the emperor so angry his liver hurt, but by the evening, the emperor’s heart ached for him once more.
The emperor said, “I remember… you’re timid, always afraid of death. How could you bring yourself to take that kind of medicine?”
Li Fuxiang didn’t want to explain the past and only replied, “It won’t happen again.”
When Yaonu came to pay respects to the emperor in the study, no one except Xu Xiude knew what happened after Yaonu departed. The emperor took out a portrait he had kept hidden for years and wept bitterly before the indistinctly depicted woman in the painting.
He was getting old.
Gradually, he could no longer bear such torment.
Though the emperor ruled the world, there were still things he could not hold onto.
Gao Yuexing quietly withdrew from Qianqing Palace.
Between father and son, they were both the closest of kin and the most distant of strangers.
Gao Yuexing had no way to intervene, nor did she know how to mediate. She exited Qianqing Palace, and Fu Yun, who had been waiting outside, immediately draped a cloak over her.
Gao Yuexing walked a few steps before stopping. She looked up at the moon in the sky.
Fu Yun didn’t know what had happened, but she could sense Gao Yuexing’s unhappiness. In a gentle voice, she said, “Miss Gao didn’t have supper tonight. Shall I return to the palace and prepare something for you?”
Gao Yuexing wasn’t particularly hungry, but her chest felt heavy and blocked. She didn’t want to speak and merely shook her head.
Fu Yun supported her with one hand and carried a small horn lantern with the other. Accompanied by two imperial guards, they made their way toward Chunhe Palace.
Gao Yuexing had clearly noticed that the palace had become livelier at night over the past few days.
Walking along the palace paths in the evening, she occasionally encountered concubines taking a stroll.
Most of these women were unfamiliar to Gao Yuexing. Even if she had seen them at the palace banquet before, remembering their faces was still a struggle.
In his youth, the emperor’s chamber attendants were all striking beauties, but time had worn them all down, and their faces now bore the marks of age.
To Gao Yuexing, they all looked quite similar in appearance, and their attire was nearly indistinguishable.
Only Meng Zhaoyi left a deeper impression on her.
Firstly, because her appearance was indeed more striking than the others. Secondly, because she was the birth mother of Prince Xin, Li Fuqian.
With a prince as her backing, Meng Zhaoyi’s attire was also more ostentatious than the others’.
While passing by a rock formation, Gao Yuexing noticed a small red lantern resting on the stone. It was tiny, only the size of a palm, and not very noticeable, but it was tattered and broken, as if blown there accidentally by the wind.
Seeing Gao Yuexing curiously staring at the lantern, Fu Yun said, “It’s probably blown out from Meng Zhaoyi’s palace.”
Gao Yuexing asked with curiosity, “Meng Zhaoyi likes these little trinkets?”
Fu Yun replied, “Not exactly fond of them. Yesterday, the Ministry of Rites set the wedding date for Prince Xin. It’ll be on the tenth day of the twelfth lunar month, before the New Year.”
Gao Yuexing calculated the days. “That’s still over two months away. Isn’t it a bit early?”
Fu Yun explained, “The Ministry of Rites said that if they wait until spring next year, the timing wouldn’t be favorable. It’s better to settle it early and pick an auspicious day.”
Gao Yuexing remarked, “The palace will be busy for this.”
Fu Yun seemed to recall something and sighed softly. “Busy indeed, but…”
Gao Yuexing noticed her hesitation and said, “If you have something to say, just say it. What are you hesitating about with me?”
Fu Yun then spoke directly, “Yesterday, the emperor reviewed the Ministry of Rites’ proposal and summoned Prince Xin to the palace for dinner today, planning to discuss his wedding. But who would have thought, not only was the emperor busy, but his mood was also bad. Prince Xin waited in the palace for two full hours, and he didn’t even get to see His Majesty before being sent away.”
What was the emperor busy with?
Of course, it was Li Fuxiang’s illness!
He left one son to wait, but was worrying and caring for another son…
Gao Yuexing frowned and sighed.
The tangled mess of the palace affairs made her feel frustrated just by watching, yet she couldn’t help but think about them. It seemed as if she was destined to worry about such things. After a few steps, Gao Yuexing said, “Prince Xin’s future wife—whether in virtue, talent, appearance, or family background—was chosen based on the standards of a crown princess, wasn’t she?”
Fu Yun, who was supporting Gao Yuexing’s hand, stiffened and immediately lowered her head, refusing to answer.
As a servant, she wouldn’t dare to discuss such matters in the palace.
Fortunately, Gao Yuexing didn’t press the issue. It seemed she had only mentioned it casually.
When she returned to Chunhe Palace, Gao Yuexing slept lightly that night. Even in sleep, her mind couldn’t fully rest. She was the type of person who overthought things, and in the palace, filled with hidden dangers, she had no one she could truly trust to confide in.
The next morning, just as the sky brightened, Gao Yuexing rushed to Qianqing Palace without hesitation.
Li Fuxiang still hadn’t shaken his habit of sleeping in.
Before the emperor went to court, he checked on Li Fuxiang in the warm pavilion—he was still asleep.
After court, the emperor checked again, and Li Fuxiang was still in a deep slumber.
Since it was inconvenient for the medicine disciples to stay in the palace long-term, the emperor arranged for them to stay at the Zheng family residence. Given the friendship between the Zheng family army and the Medicine Valley, this arrangement was the most appropriate.
After fretting all night, Gao Yuexing entered the warm pavilion of Qianqing Palace, wrapped in frost. Just as she arrived, the palace maids were drawing back the curtains. It was a sunny day again, and the sunlight slanted into the room, falling directly onto Li Fuxiang’s bed, near his pillow.
Half of Li Fuxiang’s face was illuminated by the sunlight. At first glance, it gave the illusion of being translucent. The light made his sleep uncomfortable; in his dreams, he furrowed his brows and pulled one hand out from under the quilt to cover his eyes.
Sometimes, the opening of one’s heart can happen in an instant.
Gao Yuexing’s troubled heart, which had been in turmoil the entire night, was suddenly released in that very moment when she saw the scene before her.
She was just one person.
The world had countless rivers and oceans, and her existence was like a light boat drifting on the water.
How far can a person’s eyes see?
How far can a person’s feet walk?
When she always yearned for the past, when she cherished the memories of what was, she had never realized that those fleeting moments of beauty, which no longer existed, were never truly valued by her in the first place.
Gao Yuexing stood in the center of the warm pavilion, dazed for a while. Suddenly, she covered her face, then knelt down on the spot. Her light blue floral satin dress spread out across her knees. Gao Yuexing bit her lower lip, not wanting her distressed appearance to disturb Li Fuxiang.
When Li Fuxiang finally opened his eyes, Gao Yuexing, her eyes swollen and red, leaned against the bed, watching him.
Li Fuxiang was startled. Supporting himself against the bed, he struggled to sit up and, still groggy, asked, “What’s wrong?”
Gao Yuexing opened her mouth. Words were on the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed them back down.
She didn’t want to say anything harsh in front of him.
If a person can live, who doesn’t want to live well?
Gao Yuexing gently embraced Li Fuxiang’s shoulder and said, “Let’s… not talk about it. Let’s not mention it anymore. Let’s not be sad anymore, alright?”
Li Fuxiang let out a soft “Hmm” from his throat, and after a long pause, he finally responded with one word: “Alright.”
The palace maids looked over in confusion, unable to understand the disjointed conversation between them, not knowing what they had said.
But none of them said anything.
As long as they understood each other, that was enough.
In the prime of his youth, Li Fuxiang, once awake, couldn’t stop moving. After they finished the soup together, he asked, “I had someone inquire last night. Imperial Physician Zhou has returned to his residence outside the palace for recuperation. Should we go and visit him?”
Gao Yuexing composed herself and asked, “What about Zhou Xiaohu? Has the government clarified his identity?”
Li Fuxiang raised an eyebrow, his meaning unclear. “The government works slowly. We’ll have to wait. It’s better if we go ourselves.”
Gao Yuexing flicked a handkerchief at his face. “The emperor wouldn’t let you leave the palace to have fun. Stop dreaming.”
Today, Yaonu was coming to administer acupuncture to Li Fuxiang. The medicine he was currently taking had many restrictions, and he needed to rest. According to Yaonu’s instructions, they would practically have to tie him to the bed to ensure he stayed still.
Gao Yuexing said, “The emperor knows about this. The Jinyiwei are watching in secret. You should focus on recovering. We’re not in a rush.”
The matter concerning Dowager Consort Hui wasn’t urgent.
Her flaws hadn’t all surfaced, and her minions were still lurking in the shadows.
If they didn’t cut off the root of the problem now, it would cause future troubles.
The emperor had already learned a lesson from the plot against Prince Wen, and he would no longer act impulsively.
Gao Yuexing continued, “Let’s put the matter of Imperial Physician Zhou aside for now. I want to visit Wen Zhaorong at Mifei Palace today.”
Li Fuxiang, attended by palace maids, got up. Since he rarely entertained outsiders, he wore only an outer robe, loosely draped around him.
It was remembered that Wen Zhaorong had entered the palace because Li Fuxiang had brought her back. Thus, Gao Yuexing made an excuse and sent the people in the warm pavilion out. She then used sign language to communicate with him, asking, “You must have a deep relationship with her?”
Li Fuxiang immediately denied it. “Don’t say such things. I’ve barely seen her a few times.”
Gao Yuexing asked, “Who is she?”
She mimed drawing a knife from her waist.
The Xiuchun Knife.
That meant Jinyiwei.
Li Fuxiang nodded.
In an instant, Gao Yuexing’s eyes filled with awe.
Li Fuxiang asked, “Are you envious?”
In her heart, Gao Yuexing indeed felt envious. If Xi Heng had brought her into the Jinyiwei back then, she would have become one of the knives in their ranks.
She had never minded becoming a blade.
The choice between the knife and the fish, everyone knows which one to choose.
Li Fuxiang looked at her for a while with a complex expression. Crossing his hands, he made a fierce gesture, meaning, “I won’t allow it.”
Gao Yuexing hadn’t considered this point.
Her father and mother would never allow her to endure the hardships of the Jinyiwei, let alone her own husband.
Li Fuxiang said, “Have you heard about the punishment of the Pingyang Marquis’ family?”
Gao Yuexing nodded.
Wen Zhaorong had used her identity as the only daughter of the Pingyang Marquis to enter the capital.
Li Fuxiang gestured, “The Pingyang Marquis was cunning. The emperor wanted to deal with him but lacked sufficient evidence. In the end, it was Wen Zhaorong’s doing that brought him down. She stayed at the Pingyang Marquis’ residence under the guise of a visiting young lady, and in half a month, the entire Pingyang Marquis’ family was imprisoned.”
He briefly went over the details, but Gao Yuexing couldn’t help but sense the bloody and treacherous nature behind it.
Hearing this, Gao Yuexing felt a chill in her heart.
Li Fuxiang said seriously, “You don’t need to become like her. You have me. I will protect you.”
Gao Yuexing felt warmth in her heart, but her eyes were filled with sorrow as she silently gazed at him and thought: But I can’t protect you…