Li Yue’s birthday was in May. He rarely celebrated his birthday extravagantly, usually only inviting a few close friends to the palace for a small gathering.
This year wasn’t much different from past years, except that he conveniently also invited their family members into the palace. Madam Tang complained that General Tang drank too much, but in front of the emperor, it wasn’t good to stop him from drinking, so she could only ponder inwardly how she would deal with him after they returned.
General Tang’s alcohol tolerance really wasn’t very good; Meng Fu had already noticed this last year. Seeing that he was getting drunk again, Meng Fu consoled Madam Tang with a few words and directly had the palace servants swap his wine for plain water. This trick really worked on General Tang—he frowned, wondering why the wine had no taste?
But seeing everyone else drinking just fine, and His Majesty even cooperating by taking a sip from his cup and saying the taste was not bad, it was bluffed through just like that.
Madam Tang inexplicably wanted to deal with Tang Mingqi even more.
This small banquet didn’t end until the moon was high in the sky. His Majesty pulled Meng Fu by the sleeve and returned with her to the Zichen Hall.
Meng Fu found a stool to sit down. His Majesty was really amusing after getting drunk; it was a pity that last time she had spent most of the time trying to test whether Li Yue was truly drunk or pretending.
Meng Fu propped her chin with both hands, stared at Li Yue for a while, and asked him: “Your Majesty, are you drunk?”
His Majesty was undressing behind the screen. Upon hearing Meng Fu’s question, he looked up and said: “How could that be? With this little bit of wine, how could I possibly be drunk?”
Meng Fu responded with an “oh”, guessing that he probably was truly drunk, and said: “Your Majesty, your debt from last year still hasn’t been repaid.”
“Really?” Li Yue was somewhat confused. Then he turned around and walked out from behind the screen. After thinking seriously for a moment, he nodded at Meng Fu. “Oh, that’s right.”
Looks like His Majesty’s meat repayment isn’t worth much.
Meng Fu chuckled to herself for a while. Just as Li Yue was preparing to continue repaying with his body, she stood up and walked to the wardrobe. From inside, she pulled out a big pile of clothes—tight-fitting martial attire, the currently popular large-sleeved red long robe, and even those particularly revealing ones. Meng Fu had long wanted him to try them on, but His Majesty usually only liked the few outfits he was used to. Even changing the color was something he wasn’t willing to do.
Now, His Majesty really was obedient—just mentioning debt repayment, and he earnestly put on the outfits one by one. If only there was more time, Meng Fu would even want to trim his eyebrows and redo his hairstyle. But His Majesty looked quite good even as he was now.
Meng Fu was satisfied. Li Yue lowered his head to look at the two crisscrossing black ropes across his chest, muttering to himself: “So A’Fu, you like this kind of thing.”
Meng Fu actually didn’t like it that much—it was mainly for the novelty. His Majesty’s figure was so good, and wearing this kind of thing made one especially tempted. Meng Fu raised the cup of tea on the table, took a small sip, and said to Li Yue: “Your Majesty, there’s only one set left. Once you change into this one, our account will be settled.”
The last set was a Taoist robe. Not long ago, when Meng Fu left the palace, she saw a Taoist wearing one that looked nice and thought of letting Li Yue try it as well.
Li Yue lowered his head to look at the clothes in his hands, suddenly let out a laugh of unclear meaning, then pulled off the few ropes on his body.
After changing clothes, he even somehow found a fuchen and swung it in his hand. Walking in front of Meng Fu, he said: “This poor Daoist greets the Empress.” [拂尘 (fuchen) — a horsetail whisk used by Taoists, symbolizing purity and detachment.]
Meng Fu suddenly felt something was off. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she examined Li Yue for a long time before asking him: “You’re not drunk?”
“Of course I’m not drunk,” Li Yue smiled like a cat that stole the fish, and suddenly pinned Meng Fu down on the bed. “I’ve already said many times that I’m not drunk. Why doesn’t A’Fu believe me?
It really breaks my heart. Tonight, A’Fu must properly comfort and console me.”
Meng Fu: “…”
“You still wanted me to wear those kinds of clothes? Have me spin in circles? Even had me walk in a straight line?
Hmm?” Li Yue leaned down, slowly peeling off Meng Fu’s clothes piece by piece. He half-complained and half-teased, saying: “A’Fu, really now, when I’m not drunk, would I refuse you if you said these things to me?”
Meng Fu’s cheeks were stained with a light blush. She looked up at Li Yue on top of her, a little shy, biting her lip without speaking.
Li Yue lowered his head and lightly pecked her at the corner of her lips, then let out a low laugh and said: “This poor Daoist will now properly serve the Empress.”
This Daoist’s performance was indeed quite excellent.
But in the end, Meng Fu couldn’t help but feel a little regret—she actually should’ve gotten him a kasaya to wear!
In the autumn of the eighth year of Xihe, Meng Fu was diagnosed as pregnant. At that time, Li Yue was in Yun and Gui pacifying the rebellion of the native chieftains. Upon learning this matter, he was half happy, half worried. He very much wanted to return to accompany Meng Fu, but he couldn’t just abandon the military affairs in his hands.
It wasn’t until Meng Fu was about to give birth that he rushed back from Yun and Gui. Meng Fu hadn’t had much hardship during her pregnancy, and the childbirth also went smoothly—only, it still scared His Majesty.
When Meng Fu woke up, she saw Li Yue sitting at the bedside, holding her hand, his eyes slightly red around the rims.
She seemed to have never seen His Majesty cry before.
Meng Fu gave birth to a little imperial son. His Majesty let him pick a name for himself—Li Xuan—and as soon as the baby reached one month old, Li Yue established him as Crown Prince.
This was the emperor’s legitimate eldest son, so naturally, the officials had no objections.
And after discussing with Meng Fu, Li Yue summoned Pang Huazhen and expressed that he didn’t want to have any more children.
After hearing Li Yue’s request, Pang Huazhen looked as if he had seen some rare creature that shouldn’t exist in this world. He stared at him for quite a while, then shook his head and sighed, “Your Majesty, you really do have an imperial throne to pass on, huh.”
Li Yue looked up and asked him, “So what?”
Pang Huazhen stared seriously at the Li Yue opposite him. Was this really an emperor?
So what—did he still need to say it?
“Enough already,” Li Yue sneered, sarcastically saying, “The late emperor certainly had many children, but in the end, wasn’t the only useful one just me?”
Pang Huazhen opened his mouth, feeling that Li Yue’s words had a few points of reason, but he still felt something wasn’t quite right.
He risked great disrespect and said, “If the late emperor had fewer children, then there wouldn’t even be you.”
Li Yue clicked his tongue. “The late emperor’s father had plenty of sons too, but in the end, didn’t he still choose the late emperor?”
Pang Huazhen: “…”
His Majesty really didn’t care at all about what the ancestors thought!
Although the late emperor’s reign had indeed been rather average, and he was only more favored by scholars, but if he were the late emperor—even if he were nailed into a coffin right now—he’d still rise up and give Li Yue a punch!
Pang Huazhen held back his words for quite a while. There were some things he really wanted to ask Li Yue, but with his status, asking them would truly be improper.
Li Yue probably knew what Pang Huazhen wanted to say, and only said indifferently: “If the Crown Prince isn’t able to be a good emperor in the future, then not being one is fine too.”
Pang Huazhen still wanted to ask more, but Li Yue cut him off, dissatisfied: “Why do you talk so much—do you have a way or not?”
Pang Huazhen quickly nodded, “Yes, yes! You’ve really thought it through?”
Li Yue rolled his eyes at him: “Are you done yet?”
Pang Huazhen felt like he was totally repaid for kindness with ingratitude. He sighed, turned around and rummaged through his small cabinet for a long time. “Take one pill a month, for one year, and that’s it. If you ever change your mind later, remember to come find me.”
Li Yue waved his hand and said casually: “Alright, got it.”
The little Crown Prince was a well-behaved baby—he didn’t cry or fuss after birth, eating and sleeping all day, sleeping and eating, only making a few hums when he was hungry. If no one paid him any attention, he would just open his mouth and blow bubbles to play.
When Li Yue had free time, he would hold him while reviewing memorials in the Purple Radiance Hall. As soon as the little Crown Prince saw Meng Fu approaching, he would giggle nonstop and struggle to get out of Li Yue’s arms. Li Yue deliberately teased him by not letting go, and the little Crown Prince didn’t cry or make a fuss either—he directly peed all over Li Yue.
Meng Fu said “Serves you right,” bent down and reached out to take the little Crown Prince from Li Yue’s arms. The little Crown Prince hugged Meng Fu’s neck and then turned his head to face Li Yue, laughing nonstop again.
In the blink of an eye, the little Crown Prince was already three years old. It was the age of being full of mischief—every day he ran around the imperial garden, and even ten or more palace attendants couldn’t catch up with him.
Meng Fu’s energy really wasn’t as vigorous as his. After playing with him for a while, she sat down on the swing and quietly watched him. The little Crown Prince found it boring to play alone, so he waddled over on his two short legs, tugged on Meng Fu’s sleeve, and pleaded: “Mother Empress, Mother Empress, let’s go find Fei Fei and play!”
Fei Fei was Guifei. When the little Crown Prince first started learning to speak, he couldn’t say full words and called Guifei “Fei Fei.” And in the past two years, Guifei had indeed gained a little weight, so the nickname ended up quite fitting, and no one came to correct him.
The little Crown Prince tilted up his face, his eyes like two big black grapes blinking adorably. Meng Fu reached out and poked his cheek, pretending to be troubled as she said: “What should I do? Mother Empress can’t walk anymore.”
The little Crown Prince thought for a moment, then said to Meng Fu: “Then I’ll go get Father Emperor.”
As a result, after Li Yue came over, he still didn’t accompany the child to find her. Instead, he walked behind Meng Fu and began pushing her on the swing.
The little Crown Prince tilted his head, looking at the scene before him. His eyes rolled around, and he called toward the other side: “Ninth Royal Uncle, you come up, I’ll push you!”
The Ninth Prince didn’t stand on ceremony either—he really did come sit on the swing, lowered his head reading a book, and peacefully enjoyed the little Crown Prince’s labor.
By evening, the little Crown Prince took a Fei Fei plushie from the Empress Dowager and wanted to show it to his Mother Empress. From far away, he saw his Father Emperor sitting in the small pavilion in the imperial garden and assumed Meng Fu was there too. So he ran over with his little legs—but didn’t watch where he was stepping, and with a plop, fell to the ground.
At first, the little Crown Prince was a bit dazed from the fall, seemingly not understanding what had happened, but then he opened his mouth wide and started crying out waaah loudly, scaring all the birds nearby into flight.
Li Yue turned his head to glance at him. The little fellow was still sprawled on the ground, his voice sounding a bit tragic—but it was all thunder and no rain: despite all the wailing, not a single tear actually came out.
Li Yue stood up and walked over. The little Crown Prince instantly started bawling louder. Seeing he wasn’t hurt, Li Yue lightly kicked his butt with his foot and said: “Stop howling, your Mother Empress isn’t here.”
The crying stopped immediately. The little Crown Prince gave an “oh,” then slowly got up from the ground, bowed his head, and used both hands to pat the dust off his clothes.
Li Yue tch-ed—this little guy really had two faces!
Just like this when he was young, still like this now—such a consistent little nature!
The little Crown Prince tugged on Li Yue’s sleeve, looked up, and asked in a milky voice: “Father Emperor, where’s my Mother Empress?”
Li Yue replied with a question: “What do you want to find your Mother Empress for?”
The little Crown Prince pouted and said: “I fell and it hurts, I want Mother Empress to take a look.”
Li Yue gave a dramatic “oh no” sound and said: “Then you better hurry and find your Mother Empress—if you wait too long, even the dirt on your hands will be gone.”
The little Crown Prince hugged Fei Fei plushie and spun around in place, but couldn’t see Meng Fu anywhere. He asked Li Yue again: “But Father Emperor, where is my Mother Empress?”
“Come with Father Emperor,” Li Yue turned and walked westward in the imperial garden. The little Crown Prince happily followed behind him, bouncing as he stepped on his father’s shadow, completely forgetting he had just taken a fall.
Meng Fu was by the pond playing with a puppy. As soon as the little Crown Prince saw her, he ran over joyfully, holding the Fei Fei plushie over his head like a treasure and said: “Mother Empress, look, this is Fei Fei!”
Meng Fu looked down at the plushie in his hand. During the sewing process, the Empress Dowager had listened to a lot of the little Crown Prince’s suggestions—which were possible, but not necessary—and in the end, even Fei Fei the actual cat probably wouldn’t recognize that this thing was supposed to be her.
But Meng Fu still praised it a lot. His Majesty stood to the side shaking his head the whole time—from the day the Noble Consort was deposed to now, he finally felt a little bit of sympathy for her.
The puppy ran up to Li Yue, its little tail behind it wagging non-stop. Li Yue casually picked up an apple from the table and tossed it—this black puppy shot out like a cannonball, whoosh, and quickly retrieved the apple. Its tail wagged even more fiercely, and only after Li Yue gave it the command to eat did it nom nom begin chewing on the apple.
The little Crown Prince clapped his hands in delight beside them, praising: “Father Emperor, it’s so amazing!”
“It’s just alright,” Li Yue said.
The little Crown Prince looked down at the puppy for a while, then, feeling he needed to treat things fairly, said: “Then I’ll have Grandmother Empress make a plushie for it too!”
…It probably doesn’t really want one.
“Oh right, Father Emperor,” the little Crown Prince turned around, looked toward Li Yue, and asked him, “Does it have a name?”
Li Yue thought of the puppy’s name, raised his eyes to glance at the little Crown Prince. For a moment, His Majesty’s gaze became a bit strange. After a while, he nodded slowly and said, “It does, I suppose.”
The little Crown Prince squatted down, carefully reached out his hand, and patted the puppy’s head. Then he asked Li Yue, “Then what’s its name?”
Li Yue let out a sigh and said to the little Crown Prince: “Now it should probably be called Deposed Crown Prince (fei taizǐ).”
Meng Fu was drinking tea. Upon hearing Li Yue’s response, she immediately sprayed her tea out. She started coughing, and Li Yue came over to pat her back. But the Empress repaid kindness with ingratitude—she raised her hand and lightly thumped his chest, blaming him for talking nonsense.
The little Crown Prince still didn’t understand the deeper meaning behind it. He only frowned and said, “Father Emperor, your naming is really awful!”
Meanwhile, the puppy was circling around the little Crown Prince. It had no idea what these humans were laughing about, but it still enthusiastically gave a bark in response—woof!