Hua Yan found it a bit miraculous. Apart from some morning nausea, she hadn’t experienced any other symptoms yet.
The old doctor mentioned that it was too early to tell anything for sure, and even when she took her own pulse, she couldn’t detect anything significant. It wasn’t impossible that the diagnosis was wrong. However, Lu Chengsha didn’t think so. Not only did he crush the doctor’s table with one hand, but he also repeatedly questioned the doctor with a cold expression, asking about how to care for and respond to the situation. The old doctor was so frightened that Hua Yan had to compensate him and coax him to calm down and leave.
However, Lu Chengsha still hadn’t calmed down.
On the way back, he looked at her stomach dozens of times, his whole body tense and unsure where to place his hands and feet. He was visibly stiff and a bit dazed, tightly clutching the pregnancy-preserving medicine the doctor had prescribed—though it wasn’t really necessary. The old doctor said her pulse was quite steady, but Lu Chengsha insisted on having it, as if it could provide him some peace of mind.
They passed by a restaurant, and Hua Yan wanted to go in and eat a feast. However, after ordering, she felt nauseous again and couldn’t eat much. Lu Chengsha had just started eating when he suddenly reacted and asked warily, “…Can you eat this?”
Only then did Hua Yan vaguely recall that there might be dietary restrictions during pregnancy, but she wasn’t sure about the specifics.
So, Lu Chengsha ordered her a very simple and safe bowl of sweet porridge.
Hua Yan felt exasperated and protested, “…Is this really necessary?”
Lu Chengsha replied, “Yes—it is. You eat first, I’ll check later.”
At that moment, Hua Yan didn’t quite understand what he meant by “check later.” But in the afternoon, she saw that Lu Chengsha had bought a thick stack of medical books and was sitting at the table reading them.
To be honest, the scene was a bit eerie.
Lu Chengsha was quick to learn sword moves and never forgot them. He hardly ever looked at sword manuals and even when Hua Yan occasionally forced him to read storybooks, he showed little interest. However, now he seemed like he was studying late into the night. He not only read every word carefully but also took notes on paper, much like her cousin preparing for the imperial exams, exuding a strange scholarly air.
Hua Yan found it intriguing and rolled up her sleeves to help him grind ink—something she had done for her father when she was younger. She couldn’t help but tease him while stifling her laughter, “Have you found anything?”
Lu Chengsha looked at her. His gaze usually stayed on her face, but now it inexplicably shifted downwards.
Hua Yan followed his gaze down. Her abdomen was still flat, and she didn’t understand what he was looking at. But every time he glanced, he grew more anxious. His Adam’s apple moved slightly, and he said, “I’m still checking…”
After speaking, Lu Chengsha pursed his lips and continued flipping through his medical books. But with her by his side, he was clearly more distracted.
Just moments ago, he had been flipping through the pages quickly, but now he hadn’t turned a page in a long time.
Hua Yan simply bent down, leaning closer.
Unexpectedly, as soon as she moved, Lu Chengsha quickly straightened up and pulled her upright as well, saying, “Be careful.”
“Oh…wait…” Hua Yan responded, a hint of displeasure in her voice, “It’s still early, right? And what’s with you? Why are you just nervous and not happy at all? Don’t you want this…”
Lu Chengsha immediately replied, “I do—”
And then he fell silent.
Hua Yan stole a glance at him. Lu Chengsha’s dark eyes were slightly lowered, his eyelashes trembling rapidly, as if he were trying hard to restrain something. She reached out and tugged at him, “Just say what you want to say. Why are you holding back? Won’t you feel stifled?”
Lu Chengsha suddenly looked up. He was still very excited, just afraid of startling her.
The doctor had said she should keep her mood calm.
Lu Chengsha himself wasn’t very calm and didn’t want to pass that on to her.
Even though he had thought about it many times, the moment he realized this could be real, his mind still felt like it exploded. Just thinking about the possibility of a life growing inside her made him…
Unable to stay calm.
Then Lu Chengsha glanced at her still-flat abdomen again, his heart tightening.
How could he not be happy? When the doctor spoke, he was sure of what he heard, and his heart almost stopped.
He had always thought about being closer to her, and now he finally had the chance.
This was a unique kind of intimacy.
Lu Chengsha wanted to announce it to the world immediately, but he also felt he should be more composed. More importantly, he was acutely aware that he wasn’t fully prepared. He didn’t know enough and was very worried he wouldn’t be able to take care of her and the life inside her…
Thinking of this, Lu Chengsha’s heart tightened again.
Hua Yan didn’t know what Lu Chengsha was thinking. She had heard that when her mother was pregnant with her, she was quite oblivious. During the ten months of pregnancy, only her father was worried. Her mother even wanted to continue drinking and having fun, staying up all night, not taking it seriously at all. But her father wouldn’t have it. With a rare stern look on his usually gentle face, he insisted that she consider the child, quit drinking, and take care of herself, forbidding her from messing around all day.
Later, when her mother was about to give birth, she was in pain for half a day before realizing she was in labor and not having an old injury flare up. Her father was so exasperated that he turned pale, running around for help. By the time the baby was born, her mother’s cheeks were still rosy, while her father looked exhausted, not knowing whose child it really was.
Her mother would laugh heartily recalling this, while her father would get so irritated by her laughter that he’d turn away in silence.
Hua Yan felt a mix of surprise and sweetness, but mostly she wanted to share her joy with Lu Chengsha. However, he seemed…
She tugged at him again and said, “If you want this, then show some happiness…”
Lu Chengsha wasn’t unhappy; he was overwhelmingly happy. But this happiness brought a kind of fear, a worry that stemmed from having gained so much, making him afraid of losing it.
He looked down and saw her poking her own stomach.
Lu Chengsha immediately said urgently, “You…”
Hua Yan replied, “What’s wrong? There’s no reaction…”
Then Lu Chengsha grabbed her hand. She looked up at him, seeing the fire dancing in his black eyes, even his pupils seemed to tremble. Just as she was about to speak, Lu Chengsha cupped her waist with his other hand and bent down to kiss her.
He kissed her very gently, with great care.
Hua Yan murmured softly for a while, then relaxed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.
They always enjoyed kissing, especially after getting married. They wanted to kiss all the time, whether they were busy or not. Being close to someone you love is truly addictive. Hua Yan never thought she would become like this. She used to find her parents’ affection puzzling. Now, experiencing it herself, she realized how irresistible it was—life is full of surprises.
Today, Lu Chengsha was especially gentle, without a hint of desire. Just as Hua Yan was getting into it, Lu Chengsha released her lips, their foreheads still touching, their breaths mingling, stirring their hearts.
He seemed to have finally calmed down a bit and said in a deep voice, “I am very happy…”
Hua Yan smiled.
Lu Chengsha continued, “I just don’t know what to do…”
Hua Yan laughed silently.
Lu Chengsha didn’t want to hide anything and honestly told her, “I’m afraid I won’t do well, afraid I won’t take good care of you, afraid…” He feared he wouldn’t be a good father. He swallowed the last few words, finding them hard to say.
How could he do well when he didn’t even understand his own feelings?
Hua Yan was amused by his nervousness and worry.
“Why are you worrying so much for nothing?” Hua Yan laughed. “There will always be a way. My parents raised me by learning as they went, and I grew up healthy. Oh right, your parents didn’t raise you, and look at you…”
Lu Chengsha let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Her words, simple yet true, eased his anxiety.
He realized that perhaps he didn’t need to have all the answers right now. What mattered was being there, learning, and facing everything together with her.
Lu Chengsha usually didn’t mind, but this time he immediately interrupted her, saying, “That’s not okay…”
Hua Yan teased, “Didn’t you always think your childhood was quite carefree?”
Lu Chengsha fell silent.
Leaning against his chest, Hua Yan chuckled softly, “Don’t worry too much. You don’t know, I don’t know either. Most people experience this for the first time. We can learn together.” She added, “We’ve learned so much together already… what’s one more thing?”
Lu Chengsha wrapped his arms around her waist, his voice serious and firm, “Mm.”
Hua Yan found him endearing even when he was nervous and couldn’t help but want to kiss him again. So, she suggested, “Then… let’s kiss a bit more?”
Lu Chengsha hesitated, looking at her face.
Hua Yan said, “…What are you hesitating about now!”
Lu Chengsha struggled to say, “…The doctor said we shouldn’t have intercourse.”
Hua Yan: “…”
She had almost forgotten about that.
“Uh… then just kissing?”
Lu Chengsha slowly and with difficulty nodded.
This was quite challenging for both of them. Newly married and in good health, they weren’t exactly celibate, and Lu Chengsha always had great energy. Hua Yan, enjoying herself, never thought about restraining. Now that the doctor had advised them, Lu Chengsha adhered strictly to the instructions, even being very cautious about kissing her.
The old doctor had said the first three months were especially important. They should be very careful, avoid letting the wife get too emotional, especially angry, and watch her diet and make sure she didn’t fall or get hurt.
Lu Chengsha took all of this seriously, while Hua Yan was unconcerned. She never got angry easily, and life was so comfortable now that it was even less likely. As for falling or getting hurt, that was also unlikely.
What she didn’t expect was that the real issue turned out to be something else—she had quite severe morning sickness.
Hua Yan, who loved eating and drinking, could savor anything delicious and wasn’t picky. But since the nausea started, she lost her appetite. Greasy or rich foods no longer appealed to her, and though she craved certain things, her body rejected them, making her nauseous after just a few bites.
She also became drowsy, feeling sleepy often. Over time, her already small face grew thinner.
This worried Lu Chengsha immensely.
He had read many medical books and knew what to avoid and what to be mindful of, but he couldn’t solve these problems. He paced around her, asking repeatedly what she wanted to eat, almost in circles with his concern.
Hua Yan, resting her chin in her hand and feeling listless, had a sudden thought and casually said, “…I want to eat steamed egg with silverfish.”
Without a word, Lu Chengsha went to buy it. With his exceptional lightness skill and now a clear understanding of where to buy what, he returned shortly with a steaming hot dish of steamed egg with silverfish, fresh from the kitchen.
However, as Hua Yan looked at the dish, she realized she didn’t really want it anymore.
But since Lu Chengsha had gone through the trouble, she couldn’t just not eat it. So, she picked up the spoon and forced herself to eat a couple of bites, only to feel nauseous again.
Lu Chengsha froze, supporting her as she struggled with the urge to vomit. When she calmed down, he handed her a cup of water, his eyes filled with concern as he asked in a pained voice, “Is there anything else you want to eat? I’ll go get it.”
Hua Yan thought of other things she might want, but they seemed impractical. She shook her head and said, “Forget it, it’s too much trouble.”
But Lu Chengsha was insistent, “It’s not too much trouble.”
Hua Yan said, “…It really is a lot of trouble!”
Lu Chengsha repeated, “It’s not too much trouble.”
Hua Yan sighed, “…Then I want Five Poisons Congee.”
Lu Chengsha: “…?”
Hua Yan felt a bit embarrassed, “It’s a specialty of our sect. You can’t get it around here. I used to eat it a lot when I was a kid, but not much since I grew up. I suddenly crave it.”
Lu Chengsha paused, then resolutely said, “…I’ll go back to your sect now. Where can I buy it?”
Hua Yan was stunned, “You’re going back now?”
Lu Chengsha calculated the distance and time, “I’ll be back by tomorrow morning.”
Hua Yan felt this idea was off, but she couldn’t help herself and accused, “You’re going to leave me alone all night?”
Lu Chengsha suddenly realized and, after a moment’s hesitation, said, “We’ll go back together.”
Hua Yan complained, “But it will take a long time by carriage…”
Lu Chengsha started to sweat. After a moment, he asked, “How do you make this Five Poisons Congee?”
Hua Yan instinctively replied, “It’s not hard. You finely chop five types of poisonous insects, cook them with congee and detoxifying powder for about half an hour, then add some salt and sugar for seasoning. That’s how I’ve seen it done!”
Lu Chengsha thought for a moment, then seemed to make a decision, “I’ll make it.”
Hua Yan was stunned, “You know how to make it?”
Lu Chengsha said, “I don’t, but I can learn.”
At that moment, they were still at the inn. They gave some broken silver to borrow the kitchen. Hua Yan recalled the recipe in detail and told Lu Chengsha. After confirming that the detoxified insects would be harmless to a pregnant woman, he went into the kitchen.
Hua Yan had the poisonous insects and detoxifying powder with her. She wanted to help, but the kitchen’s smell made her feel nauseous, so she had to wait outside, listening to the normal yet somehow abnormal sounds of chopping and cooking coming from inside. She felt quite anxious.
If people in the martial world knew that the infamous killer Lu Chengsha was in the kitchen making this concoction for her, they would find it unbelievable.
She herself found it unbelievable because Lu Chengsha seemed to really dislike her poisonous insects. She usually hid them from him to avoid scaring him.
Now he was actually preparing these insects, even though she had given him the detoxifying powder. Was this really okay?
She waited anxiously outside the kitchen. About half an hour later, Lu Chengsha emerged.
His expression was a bit strange, carrying a bowl of congee that looked even more peculiar. He asked nervously, “…Is this how it’s supposed to be?”
It looked somewhat familiar to Hua Yan, but she wasn’t sure.
She scooped a spoonful, blew on it, but before she could taste it, Lu Chengsha grabbed her hand and said, “Forget it, I tried it earlier. This congee….” He hesitated, trying to take the bowl back, “…I’ll take you back tomorrow.”
Hua Yan said, “It’s fine, let me taste it first!”
Ignoring Lu Chengsha’s protests, she insisted on taking a bite. Surprised, she exclaimed, “Oh, this is the taste!”
Lu Chengsha: “…!”
He breathed a sigh of relief with a very complex expression.
Hua Yan, squinting with a nostalgic look, said, “It’s just like the taste from my childhood! But having just the Five Poisons Congee feels like something is missing. I also crave the deep-fried poisonous insects from our sect. They are coated with flour and egg, then fried until crispy and fragrant, with a unique taste and a slightly sweet aftertaste…”
Lu Chengsha shuddered, his hands, which he had washed ten times, now stiff.