Sang Dai muttered, “Can’t we just do nothing?”
“No, you’ll feel pain.”
The sword cultivator had no knowledge in this area, and he fell into silence for a long time.
Finally, a barely perceptible sound fell.
“…Hmm.”
Su Xuan got up, lifted the bed curtain, and walked out of the light-blocking barrier that Sang Dai had set up.
She heard the soft sound of water. Sang Dai didn’t know what he went to do.
She lay in the embroidered blanket, and the little fox returned quickly.
His hand, still carrying droplets of water, touched her body, making her shiver with cold.
“You… What did you go to do?”
“Washed my hands.”
Sang Dai thought for a moment with her sluggish mind, and once she figured it out, she fell silent.
The little fox leaned in and kissed her lips lightly. “I have no experience. If I hurt you, tell me, and then…”
His lips moved to her neck as he whispered, “If you feel good, you can tell me.”
Sang Dai quickly understood his meaning.
The sword cultivator bit down on the embroidered pillow, gripping one of his tails tightly with one hand, while the other hand involuntarily tried to push him away.
But at this moment, she didn’t have the strength and couldn’t push him at all. He, on the other hand, was exceptionally firm.
Sang Dai had always thought the little fox looked good everywhere, with hands like jade, clearly defined knuckles, nails neatly trimmed, strong when holding a sword, and captivating when using the fire of termination. But now these hands had gone to the most difficult place to speak of, and she had never thought that she would have such a broken voice.
At first, it was indeed uncomfortable. The little fox had no experience. After the sword cultivator called out, he gently coaxed her and slowly found a rhythm. Once he became proficient, Sang Dai’s mind was also in chaos.
She didn’t know how much time had passed, her mind filled with his soft coaxing. When the little fox let her go, the sword cultivator was breathing heavily, and he gently patted her back to help her regulate her breathing.
Sang Dai was in a daze, aware that the little fox had said something in her ear.
Su Xuan knew that she was still lingering in the aftereffects, and under his service, the sword cultivator had experienced the ultimate joy of the human world. This feeling made his rationality also collapse.
He called her name: “Dai Dai, I’m starting.”
Sang Dai unconsciously responded: “…Hmm.”
Su Xuan lifted her knee and spread her legs. The little fox couldn’t see, but could feel his way to it, gently pressing in a bit. The path was obstructed and long, and just a little bit of pressure made them both groan in pain. Sang Dai suddenly gripped his arm tightly, and neither of them dared to move.
Su Xuan endured until the veins on his forehead were throbbing, exhaling heavily: “Baby, relax.”
But she was in so much pain, her nails deeply embedded into his arm.
Su Xuan dared not continue. He wanted to see her expression, to see if she really couldn’t accept it. So, he cheated, removing the barrier the sword cultivator had set up.
Light poured in. Even though the windows were closed, the dim light was enough for him to clearly see Sang Dai’s expression.
She was crying, her body covered in sweat, trembling uncontrollably, her tear-filled eyes looking at him.
Her lips were marked with the bite marks she had endured earlier, and he hadn’t realized that she had been biting herself.
“Dai Dai, let go.”
Su Xuan hurriedly reached out and touched her lips, using his spiritual power to soothe the marks left behind.
The moment he locked eyes with Sang Dai, he saw the fear and anxiety in her eyes. His mind, previously clouded by desire, suddenly cleared.
How could he treat her this way?
There was no dual marriage contract, no grand ceremony to unite their families, not even a meeting with her elders to inform Ying Heng of their relationship and gain his approval.
He hadn’t given her anything, and he had failed to provide her with what she deserved from others.
Su Xuan’s mind was jolted. Regret and guilt surged to the surface, and he trembled as he withdrew the desire that had barely entered her. He used his spiritual power to reverse the flow of energy and suppress the effects of the medicine, swallowing the blood in his throat and lowering his body to hold her in his arms.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Dai Dai, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have treated you like this.”
Sang Dai couldn’t understand what he was saying. She knew that this situation was painful. The Nine-Tailed Fox clan was large and powerful, far beyond what she could endure. Sang Dai had only been enduring her own pain, thinking that if she bore it for a while, it would pass.
But Su Xuan had interrupted it.
It seemed like he suddenly woke up, holding her and repeatedly apologizing, looking as if he wanted to stab himself with a sword. He babbled incoherently, apologizing to her.
Sang Dai felt that he was very hot, like a furnace, his entire body burning, and she could hardly catch her breath.
She pushed him gently and struggled to speak, “I’m very hot, you’re too hot… Su Xuan, loosen up a little.”
The little fox released her.
Sang Dai lifted her head. They were facing each other honestly, and she didn’t dare look anywhere else.
Su Xuan’s silver hair was soaked with sweat, and his eyes were filled with regret and self-blame. She couldn’t understand why.
His inner voice was also apologizing:
[“I’m sorry, Dai Dai, I lost my head, I’m sorry.”]
[“Dai Dai, I shouldn’t have treated you this way.”]
Sang Dai frowned slightly. “Why are you apologizing? These were things I agreed to.”
He had asked before kissing her, and she agreed.
He asked before unbuttoning her clothes, and she agreed.
He asked before using his hands, and she still agreed.
Each step, he had asked her, so why was he apologizing?
Su Xuan held her and spoke in a hoarse voice, “It’s not fair to you, Dai Dai. I’m sorry, I really lost my head.”
Sang Dai still couldn’t understand. “Where’s the unfairness? You’ve helped me a lot.”
“Dai Dai, do you like me?”
“I…” Sang Dai furrowed her brow slightly, “Su Xuan, I’ve said I like you before. It wasn’t a lie. I really do like you.”
“Have you fallen in love with me?”
Love?
Sang Dai suddenly fell silent.
The little fox lowered his eyes and gazed at her.
“Has your liking turned into love? Are you willing to bind yourself to me with a twin soul marriage contract, to share life and death together? Are you willing to have the grand ceremony to join our families, and become my Beast Queen? Are you willing to walk with me hand in hand for the rest of your life, to build a family together?”
“Dai Dai, a lifetime is very long. It’s not enough to just promise with words. We must both be equally steadfast, love each other without wavering, in order to build a good home for us, for our family. Only then can we avoid drifting apart. Are you ready for this step?”
Su Xuan’s hand touched her heart, but Sang Dai showed no embarrassment. She just stared at him blankly.
“How much of me is in here? Are you really willing to give me everything?”
Sang Dai answered in confusion, “I… I’m willing… I’m willing to do these things with you…”
It seemed like she was trying to convince herself, to give herself courage with these words.
Su Xuan suddenly felt a deep pain in his heart. He touched her cheek, holding back tears as he said, “Dai Dai, you really don’t understand these things. No one taught you. I took advantage of your ignorance to do this. It’s very unfair to you. You can do these things because you love me, but not because of a little liking and a rush of gratitude that makes you give me everything.”
“This has to follow a proper process. We need to meet your elders first, gain their approval. I’ll ask for your hand in marriage, and you’ll agree to me. We’ll form a twin soul contract and become partners in the Dao. Only then can we go to our wedding chambers and do this.”
“Without a title, without a promise, without mutual love and honesty, in a guest inn, this is insulting you. I’m sorry, Dai Dai, it’s all my fault. I’ve treated you badly.”
Sang Dai’s nose tingled, and she suddenly covered her eyes.
The sword cultivator was crying.
Su Xuan held her, gently comforting her. The Jiexin Herb made his entire body ache, but her sobs tormented him even more than the effects of the medicine.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Dai Dai, I lost my head…”
Sang Dai sobbed, “Su Xuan, I don’t know… I really don’t understand these things… No one taught me…”
“My parents died when I was born, my master left when I was ten, and the Sword Sect didn’t care for me. I don’t know anything. I can’t do anything. I only know how to kill and exorcise demons. That’s all I know.”
“I can’t cook, I can’t wash clothes, I can’t paint or read. Apart from fighting, I don’t know anything. Why do you like me? You’re too good to me, I feel so guilty.”
So, whatever he wanted, Sang Dai would give him.
Because of guilt, because of heartache.
Especially after learning about Su Xuan’s fate in the original story, and recalling the previous memories, she realized that her long-time opponent, whom she had always fought with, had watched over her for over a hundred years. Even after she had severely wounded him multiple times, he still came to see her.
After her death, he discarded all principles, allowing his inner demons to torment him, repeatedly battling with the Immortal Realm, dying under heavenly lightning.
He could do anything. He was an awakened Heavenly Spirit Root, a Beast King. Why would he go so far for her?
The more she interacted with him, the deeper her feelings grew, and that guilt almost overwhelmed her.
Sang Dai could not bear the intensity of his love for her. She felt that what she gave him was far less than what he gave her, which made her feel it was unfair to him, and made her feel even more guilty.
“I’m sorry… I really didn’t know… I’m so stupid…”
Su Xuan felt his heart ache as he listened. Each of her sobs was like a knife digging into his heart.
He held her, gently patting her back, his hands tracing her thin shoulder blades. Suddenly, he couldn’t control his tears.
Why was she so thin? He had been feeding her the best things, even the fish she ate had to come from the South Sea, but she was still so thin.
“Dai Dai, you’re amazing. You’re the best female cultivator in the world, the best person in the Four Realms. I like you so, so much. Everyone will like you, because Sang Dai is the kind of person who makes others like her.”
“As long as Sang Dai stands there, I will like her, everyone will like her.”
Sang Dai covered her face and sobbed, “Su Xuan… I’m sorry…”
Su Xuan kissed the top of her head: “Dai Dai, you don’t need to understand so much, I will teach you what love is, there are other things you don’t need to know. Washing clothes, cooking, painting, and calligraphy—if you don’t like them, don’t learn them, and you don’t need to. I can take care of you, and I can take you to see a wider world. I can give you everything I have.”
“This matter won’t be done for now, it’s my fault, I was confused today.”
The sword cultivator was still crying, and Su Xuan hugged her, comforting her for a long time.
It wasn’t until Sang Dai smelled the scent of blood and sensed his burning body temperature that she stopped her tears.
Sang Dai lifted her head, wiped her tears, and asked him, “Are you still in pain? Su Xuan, I really don’t mind, let’s continue, it doesn’t hurt.”
Su Xuan kissed her forehead: “It’s unfair to you.”
“Don’t need fairness.”
“It must be fair. What others have, you must have too. You can’t look down on yourself.”
“…But you’re in pain, I really feel bad, I don’t want to see you in pain.”
The little fox kissed her lips, pecking along the lip edges, holding her face gently and whispering, “Then can you help me in another way?”
Sang Dai helplessly asked, “What way?”
Su Xuan turned over, pinning her beneath him, and kissed her neck.
“Young lady, let me teach you once.”