Morning sunlight passed through the glass window, spilling into the room, shining until Qiao Ling’s face burned hot.
She always felt like she had been wrapped in a furnace sleeping the whole night, so hot that her throat dried uncomfortably, only then did she bit by bit wake up from her sleep.
Qiao Ling moved a little, but her body was actually confined and couldn’t twist away.
She arduously pried open her drowsy eyelids, the first thing that entered her line of sight was a very familiar handsome face.
Only then did Qiao Ling know, what exactly was the “furnace” that had wrapped her the whole night.
So it turned out… it was Chen Kuang’s body ah.
Oh…
……
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah！！！！！！！！
How did it just end up sleeping in his embrace like this?!
Qiao Ling’s brain seemed as if it was poured over with mint oil, suddenly there was a scorching hot clearness attacking, she rapidly recalled the things before she fell asleep.
Last night, she kissed him, and even boldly asked him if he wanted to do that thing.
When Chen Kuang hugged her, she really thought the two of them were about to take advantage of the current atmosphere to have some romantic collision between adults.
In the end, he just hugged her.
Although it was unexpected, Chen Kuang’s hug, however, was like a hammer being swung up, heavily smashing onto the softest place in her heart.
That instant, she felt Chen Kuang’s “approach.”
They were incomparably close.
Chen Kuang hugged her so tightly, so tight that Qiao Ling almost thought she was going to be squeezed flat.
This powerful strength, was just like he was holding her hand, then placing it on the place over his heart covered full of band-aids.
Letting her tear it open, observe his imperfection, his sorrow, as well as his scars.
The two of them lay inside the sofa bed embracing each other.
Chen Kuang didn’t say even half a word, only hugging her tightly, no longer considering sense of propriety, wantonly burying his head in her shoulder.
His breath was warm yet unsteady, spraying in her neck hollow, both itchy and alive.
The hug was too tight, Qiao Ling was bumped by his heavy heartbeat until her chest followed along resonating.
She couldn’t help her eyes turning sour, clutching the clothes on his back, letting the other party hug her like this.
A belly full of words wanting to say, but in the end still chose silence.
Qiao Ling remembered she cried, tear drops soaking into the clothes at the place of his heart.
She originally only wanted to accompany him until he fell asleep, but her thoughts sank, gradually she herself also lost consciousness.
Didn’t expect the two of them would just hug and sleep like this for the whole night, not even changing posture.
Qiao Ling tilted her head up, unblinkingly staring at Chen Kuang’s sleeping face.
Had never looked at him from this angle before.
How come so handsome ah…
Although those gentle eyes were closed, the naturally sharp contours at this moment under the light actually revealed a softness never seen before.
Lying on his side, his right cheek was pressed by the pillow a little deformed, but the bridge of his nose stood up as always, beautifully.
There was a kind of subtle vividness.
It was her first time seeing him sleeping so relaxed.
The sleeping Chen Kuang no longer was like usual, like a wolfdog that strangers must not approach, but had become a black-furred Maine Coon big cat.
His full chest rising and falling with his breathing, giving the illusion of a cat’s belly moving while sleeping soundly.
Qiao Ling stared at his slightly messy natural curls from sleep, feeling a bit itchy in her hand wanting to rub a handful.
She held back again and again, but still got encouraged by this handsome face, pulling her right hand out from his embrace, little by little reaching toward his face—
Just as Qiao Ling’s fingertip had just touched the hair covering his eyes slightly, the man slowly opened his eyes.
Her hand stiffened there.
Chen Kuang’s gaze was calm, without any surprise, as if he already knew she was making small moves.
Qiao Ling originally planned to ‘exit’ from his embrace before he woke up, how come he suddenly woke up!
This is very awkward ah!
Not even having confirmed relationship yet, man and woman hugging and sleeping the whole night is already one thing, now waking up and she still hadn’t distanced early, even sneakily playing with his hair here.
This, too ambiguous!
Under the other party’s gaze, she awkwardly withdrew her hand, her body retreating outwards, her eyes full of dry, stiff smile.
“……Morning.”
“Did I wake you up?”
Chen Kuang’s sleep was very light, the first movement when Qiao Ling woke up he already woke too, just afraid directly opening eyes would make her embarrassed.
Might as well pretend to sleep, see what she wanted to do.
But that touch on his hair just now, really was too itchy.
Chen Kuang turned from lying on his side to lying on his back, that arm lift was very natural, without leaving a trace pulling the retreating Qiao Ling back into his embrace again.
Her head was resting on his right arm, so the moment his arm moved, her whole body also moved along.
Qiao Ling bumped back into his embrace, her eyes widened round: “!!!”
And the man not intending to explain anything at all covered his eyes, letting out a lazy exhale.
“No.”
“Sleep a little more.”
Qiao Ling screamed inside: In this situation who can still calmly sleep again with you ah!!
Big brother, we are hugging right now!! You don’t feel it’s strange?!
He acted very normal, just perfectly matching Qiao Ling’s little thought of not wanting to mention last night’s “those two kisses.”
She stretched out one index finger, poking his chest muscle, “Uh… you sleep, I—I’m going to get up.”
Heavens, this chest muscle, this hand feeling, if I’d known, I should have pushed with all five fingers.
Chen Kuang heard her wanting to slip away, so he didn’t laze in bed anymore, turned his head, carefully examining her face.
Just waking up seemed even whiter and more tender than other times.
“Last night, why did you cry?”
Qiao Ling paused, “I… cried?”
“No, I didn’t.” Completely sweating, ge.
He seemed to care a lot about this matter, his gaze gradually tightening, “You cried, my clothes got wet, right where you kissed…”
“Ah! Wait, wait, wait a second!” Qiao Ling interrupted him with a red face, suddenly bouncing up from his embrace.
She scrambled up from the sofa bed, in her panic couldn’t even find both slippers scattered near the sofa, only wearing one.
“I suddenly need to go to the bathroom, we’ll talk later.”
“Qiao Ling, come back.” He suddenly called her.
Qiao Ling turned her head, “What?”
Chen Kuang half-lying half-leaning, pointed at his right arm, seeming troubled: “Help me up, my arm’s really numb, can’t move anymore.”
This arm had been used as her pillow the whole night, not numb would be strange.
Qiao Ling’s face turned a new level of red, head lowered as she quickly ran back, pulling him up, then ran into the bathroom like fleeing for her life, locking the door.
“Bang!”
Chen Kuang sat up, holding his shoulder, moving the arm that had gone numb from being used as a pillow.
He lowered his head, saw her single slipper left under the tea table, the corner of his mouth hooked up.
The self-satisfied delight from teasing her slowly revealed itself.
………
Qiao Ling’s romance experience was extremely barren, even more so when she was a student, didn’t know how to get along with boys.
That’s why, whenever encountering something, she would first choose to run away, then think about how to handle it.
Her last relationship was the man being active the whole time, then she muddle-headedly agreed to date him, actually not figuring out clearly what was real liking.
Facing Chen Kuang, she had probably already brought out a lifetime’s worth of courage to be proactive toward a boy.
Her self from two months ago definitely wouldn’t believe she’d also have a day where she’d go so far as to throw away her face, just to get close to a man.
But that moment yesterday when her head heated up and she kissed Chen Kuang——Qiao Ling, for the first time, felt a certain kind of pleasure.
So it turns out actively choosing someone you like, instead of settling for someone who likes you, then aiming accurately and striking, is such an exciting thing.
Qiao Ling spat out the mouthwash from brushing her teeth, sighed facing the mirror.
So then?
Acted rashly and kissed him, now how to wrap it up? Should I confess? It’s not that I can’t, just feels like something’s still missing.
He just didn’t refuse her kiss, his expression at that time was mostly helpless, like an older gege much older than her indulging a little girl.
It doesn’t necessarily mean he would agree to date her, right.
Qiao Ling scrubbed her face hard with cleansing foam, gritting her teeth thinking: ah ah ah, maybe I’ll just muddle through it first!!
After washing up, she pushed open the door, and immediately bumped into Chen Kuang walking over, so scared she almost choked.
Qiao Ling’s eyes were round and watery, afraid he would bring up some very awkward topic the moment he opened his mouth.
Chen Kuang had already changed into a different set of clothes, his hair still a bit messy. After briefly meeting her gaze, he didn’t say anything, just bent down and placed the slipper she had left outside beside her left foot that was stepping on the floor, tone gentle: “Don’t go barefoot, easy to catch cold.”
It was the first time he had squatted so low in front of her. She looked down at the top of his head, feeling an indescribable strange feeling in her heart.
The sense of presence from the other party’s breath was too strong. Qiao Ling couldn’t help curling her toes, hurriedly putting on her slippers: “Oh… thank you.”
“My turn to wash up.” Chen Kuang pulled her out of the bathroom, before closing the door left one sentence: “Take two eggs from the fridge, and dried noodles and celtuce, I’ll make breakfast.”
Qiao Ling watched the bathroom door respond with a shut, put down her nervousness, but there was also a bit of disappointment.
Was it that he didn’t bring it up because he was afraid she’d feel awkward, or was it because he didn’t want any follow-up so he deliberately didn’t mention it?
She patted her face, forcing herself to clear her head.
Anyway, already kissed! If he’s unwilling it’s not a loss for me either!!
………
Chen Kuang finished washing up, remembered there were still some things in the fridge that could be taken out and cooked, crouched down rummaging through the fridge.
Qiao Ling didn’t know how to cook, so she just leaned against the side drinking yogurt keeping him company.
“So really nothing’s wrong?” He was searching in the fridge compartment, asking.
She blinked: “What’s nothing’s wrong?”
“You cried last night.” Ever since she shed tears in front of him a few times, Chen Kuang had gotten a bit sensitive about it, lifting his eyes to ask: “Was it because of me?”
“If it was, I apologize to you.”
“You don’t have to apologize…” Qiao Ling didn’t know how to explain, lowered her eyes, “I just… before never met someone like you, someone who’s had that kind of life experience.”
“Maybe I got a bit sentimental.”
Chen Kuang analyzed her words, paused for a few seconds then reacted, frowned: “Xie Lisheng told you those messy things?”
Qiao Ling pursed her lips, he’s starting to get fierce again.
He checked the labels on the frozen goods, finally pulled out a small bag of pork belly, “Actually you can just ask me directly.”
She didn’t speak for a while, just watched him fussing with the ingredients, silently following behind him.
Qiao Ling waited a bit, still couldn’t hold it in, said: “I was thinking, even though on the surface you don’t care about anything, but back then that sentence from Dan Zi, must have had a big impact on you, right?”
The words Dan Zi casually spat out with a flip of the lips, actually hurt him very much, to the extent it indirectly created the current slightly gloomy, insisting on keeping distance from others, insisting on carrying everything alone Chen Kuang.
Chen Kuang gave her a deep and unreadable glance, continued washing vegetables, “It’s alright.”
“If she hadn’t appeared, I would’ve almost forgotten.”
Qiao Ling mumbled in her heart: Liar, stiff-mouthed man.
She stepped forward again, handed him a plate, “Then if I want to know about these things, you, are you willing to talk again?”
Chen Kuang’s movements washing and cutting vegetables were smooth, his expression also showed almost no hesitation: “I don’t know what Xie Lisheng said, but you don’t need to think of me as something too mysterious.”
“It’s actually very simple. My father had liver cancer, my mother had lung cancer, neither could be saved.”
“Their illnesses didn’t come out of nowhere either.”
“My parents started from selling home furnishing materials. My dad drank for several decades, using his body to fight for business deals, until in the end when liver cancer was diagnosed, even he himself wasn’t surprised.”
“My mom.”
He paused for the first time when saying this, turning his head to look at Qiao Ling’s worried face, gave a little smile: “When you were little, did you ever go into that kind of old, rundown comprehensive building materials and home furnishing market?”
“The smell in there, even flowers that are a bit more delicate wouldn’t survive.”
Chen Kuang turned his head back, his gaze also turned cold, “My mom sold building materials in there for ten years.”
Day and night staying in a place with no air circulation, full of irritating air, her lungs had long been full of holes.
Chen Kuang put the vegetables into boiling water to blanch, the cooking smoke and fire mixed with the tragic things he was telling seemed like two colors, black and white, that couldn’t blend.
“They both fought like that for this family, for me.”
“But in the end, I didn’t even get the chance to repay them, I let them down.”
Qiao Ling couldn’t help grabbing him, her heart sinking down: “That’s not it, you already did your best.”
Chen Kuang didn’t confirm nor deny, pulling her hand backward a little, “Don’t get burned, stand farther away.”
While cooking breakfast for two people, he continued speaking feelings he had never confessed to anyone before.
“When I was little I really liked math and physics, because as long as you figured out their rules, patiently solved them, you could firmly control the answer.”
“Before I turned twenty, my view on life was always like this, as long as I did everything well, things would develop according to the direction I wanted.”
“But after that, everything that happened to me got out of control.”
In front of illness and life, he was small, ridiculous, couldn’t hold onto anything.
Chen Kuang lightly sighed, put the noodles into the pot, calmly laughing at himself: “I was pretty arrogant, thinking life was too simple, right.”
Qiao Ling listened until both cheeks turned sore, her throat swelling with discomfort.
Her own relatives had always been very healthy, so she had never encountered things like this, and didn’t know how to comfort him.
She thought, Chen Kuang must have always been pulling back and forth in regret and self-reconciliation.
After all, he had almost given up everything, only wanting to keep his family, but couldn’t even do that, and then turning around——he found that his own life had already deviated too far from the original track, full of regrets.
Because his self-esteem was too strong, Chen Kuang might not even dare to think about how those people who used to not be as good as him would sigh about him now.
“No one can do everything perfectly.” Qiao Ling looked at his back, “And no one can completely control their own fate.”
“You tried to do something that even immortals in ancient books couldn’t do, that really is arrogant.”
Chen Kuang turned his head, raised an eyebrow: “The way you’re saying this, really not giving any face.”
Qiao Ling at this moment leaned in again, “But you did your best. People who do their best will never be disappointing, and absolutely shouldn’t be laughed at.”
“Even more shouldn’t be afraid of being pitied.”
“Could it be that because of this, you cut off contact with all the people you know, drifting alone to Binyang?”
Chen Kuang was caught by her earnest gaze, the heart that had long since been dead silent was shaken, passing through a moment of panic.
He fixed his eyes on Qiao Ling’s face, his Adam’s apple rolling down.
What Xie Rouyin said wasn’t wrong. He had already long sensed Qiao Ling’s good feelings, yet kept acting like a bastard, always changing the subject.
When facing these eyes of hers, his brain turned chaotic.
The talent he was born with for calculating derivatives and sorting out logic, all useless now.
“Qiao Ling, do you know…”
Chen Kuang, hot-headed from impulse, couldn’t help but tell her the burden that had been pressing on him for over two years: “If both parents have a history of cancer, then their children, there’s a very high possibility they inherit the cancer gene.”
Back when his mother passed away more than a year ago, his way of thinking had been pessimistic to the extreme. He always felt that sooner or later he would die the same way too.
Maybe even earlier than his parents.
Since he had money in his hands, he simply decided not to struggle anymore, find a place to casually do some things, just idly waste the days waiting for death, not bothering anyone.
That’s why he avoided all caring friends and elders.
Even the reason he always ignored Qiao Ling’s pursuit.
It was exactly because he knew how troublesome a cancer patient was, how much heavy sorrow they would bring to the people around them.
He felt he would definitely have an accident sooner or later.
That’s why…
“Then your paternal grandparents, are they?” She suddenly asked, her tone very sharp: “Your maternal grandparents, are they?!”
Chen Kuang was startled by her, slowly answered: “…No.”
“So what does that have to do with genes then!” Qiao Ling was a little angry, unable to do anything about his pessimistic attitude, grabbing Chen Kuang’s sleeve and shaking it back and forth, emphasizing her stance: “You also said it yourself, your parents broke down their health because of their work environment. Since it’s like this, the lesson they gave you with their lives, you all the more should remember it properly.”
“Maintain your health, live happily.”
An angle he had never thought from before.
Qiao Ling told him.
Chen Kuang’s brain buzzed for a moment, completely stunned on the spot.
So it turns out.
This matter, could be understood like this too?
Qiao Ling saw that he had completely turned into a still image, helped him turn the stove’s flame down a little, holding onto his sleeve and never letting go.
“I’ve read popular science articles. Actually, everyone’s body has cancer factors inside. It’s just that some people never activate them their whole life, and some people have bad luck, not taking good care of themselves, letting it deteriorate.”
“Since you’re afraid you might get sick too, then just take good care of yourself, make sure it never has a chance to come out for your whole life, isn’t that fine?”
“According to your way of thinking, everyone’s end point the moment they’re born is death, then nobody should do anything anymore, just get born and wait to die.”
Qiao Ling curved her mouth, as if no matter how big the matter was, in her eyes it wasn’t difficult, tilting her head at him and winking: “People living, is exactly to make these several decades happy and meaningful, ah.”
“What do you think, am I right? Say it, Chen Kuang, don’t just look at me without saying anything.”
Chen Kuang was being shaken by her holding onto his arm, even his line of sight seemed to be swaying along.
He knew himself to be a proud person.
Yet in this moment, in front of her, he felt ashamed to the point he couldn’t lift his head.
He also seemed to understand now, why Xie Rouyin would, for the sake of this girl she’d only known for two months, scold him so harshly for the first time.
And finally understood why everyone cared about her so much.
This person called Qiao Ling, really is very hard for people not to like.