Her family not agreeing with her insisting on silver jewelry work, opening a store and starting a business, was not just a matter of one or two days; saying things like today and opposing like this was also not the first time.
Every time in the past when she encountered her family’s questioning, she would always go out alone to relax her mind, comforting herself that when she made something out of it, they would naturally recognize it. Burying her head to sleep for a night and continuing to do it again the next day.
But now it was different, she had a boyfriend.
The door was pulled open, and the moment Qiao Ling saw Chen Kuang, the grievance that had finally calmed down broke through the dam and erupted again, even more fiercely than before.
Qiao Ling threw herself into the other party’s broad embrace, tears just like this wantonly soaking into his clothes.
The room door slowly bumped shut, cutting off the cold air and dust from outside, the reassuring scent inside the house forming a warming return flow.
Her whole face buried in Chen Kuang’s chest, sobbing so much that even the strands of her hair were trembling, yet her crying voice was thin and small.
Chen Kuang lowered his eyes and saw her such posture, his gaze softened, as if there was a hot boiling wave inside his body, crashing on his heart with sizzling sounds.
He hugged back even more forcefully, his hand stroking her back.
“Already so big and still playing turning off the phone and disappearing?”
“Everyone was very worried about you.”
Qiao Ling lay in his embrace as if all strength had been unloaded from her body, raising her head to look at him, her tone sour: “Chen Kuang… I’m so annoyed ah.”
“Annoyed about what?” Chen Kuang held her, using the other hand to wipe her tears, patient and calm: “Tell me about it.”
Chen Kuang had a kind of broad aura, as if no matter how big her emotions were, he could always steadily catch them.
Qiao Ling buried her head into his chest again, stomped her foot, sighed.
He patted the back of her head, “Take off your shoes first, I’ll carry you over to sit.”
Qiao Ling obediently took off her shoes, Chen Kuang carrying her slippers in one hand, and lifting her into the air with the other hand, holding her as he walked toward the living room.
She had indeed been outside relaxing for a long time, really walked until tired, the moment she was picked up by him, fatigue hit, letting out a comfortable sigh.
Chen Kuang first replied to Qiao Jing on WeChat, saying the person already came home.
Qiao Jing still needed to pass it on to Qiao Ling’s parents, didn’t say much, just sent a message asking Chen Kuang to comfort her a little more.
Qiao Ling cried outside until her mouth was dry and tongue was parched, drank a few sips of hot water from his cup, then like a boneless little cat curled up in his embrace, telling him one by one everything that happened today at the exhibition and with Shixiong, as well as the matters at her parents’ house.
Chen Kuang wrapping his arm around her shoulder, after listening, asked her: “Actually you also understand, those elders at home are all for your own good, right.”
Qiao Ling puffed up her face, all around her eye rims were red, nodding.
“I know, I was being emotional, arguing with my mom a few sentences went a bit too far.”
“But… today I really was…”
“Your Shixiong giving up on your family’s ancestral craft is actually the source of your anger.” He glanced sideways at her wiping tears until her face was swollen, using his finger to lightly scrape, “The elders nagging is just the fuse.”
He pointed it out in one sentence, and Qiao Ling could only face her own irrational venting behavior directly.
“But, the things I said to my parents, those are also indeed words from my heart.”
“The reason why I kept questioning them so many times,” her tone was sour, confessing her inner thoughts: “actually it’s because I always felt like I embarrassed them.”
“I was so afraid that they wouldn’t be proud of me.”
Chen Kuang nodded, “That I can understand, just like back in school, if I didn’t do well on exams I would fall into an endless pit of self-blame.”
“Because I knew how much they had expectations for me.”
When caught in the heat of the moment, only caring about whether she had the reasoning on her side, but after calming down, she was stuck in the fear of having hurt her parents’ hearts.
Qiao Ling stuffed her hand into his palm, seeking a sense of security in this warmth and dryness.
“Tomorrow I’ll still go home and apologize to my mom…”
In confrontations with family, many people clearly know their own unreasonable tantrums and mistakes, yet still stubbornly can’t let go of their pride, unable to say a simple sorry to their closest family.
In this point, Qiao Ling was better than countless others.
Chen Kuang, again and again, felt admiration for her sensibility and understanding, sighing in his heart, stroking her hair to comfort her.
“This is already very good, they won’t blame you.”
“If family’s approval and a career I like really can’t be combined, if the family never approves for a lifetime.” Qiao Ling turned her head, wanting to hear his thoughts: “Which would you choose?”
He cared so much about family, perhaps he would choose the former?
Chen Kuang normally wouldn’t make emotional assumptions, carefully pondering her question, speaking seriously: “I don’t have similar experience, I can’t give you a reference-worthy suggestion.”
Qiao Ling felt melancholy in her heart, thinking it made sense, his career hadn’t even begun, and his parents had already left early.
“In the conditions you set, if it’s doing something that absolutely won’t be recognized.”
He said: “Then parents not agreeing with it, can be considered one kind of force majeure.” [不可抗力, buke kangli, literally ‘irresistible force,’ legal/cultural term referring to something beyond one’s control]
She and he sat facing each other, quietly listening to the other speak.
Qiao Ling looked at Chen Kuang leaning against the sofa, his gaze stopping mid-air as if imagining something.
“And then?” She waited for his next words.
Chen Kuang turned his gaze back, the end of his eyes slightly curving, “But.”
“There are too many people forced to give up on themselves because of force majeure.”
He held her small hand, lightly pinching her knuckles, “So I hope you can hold firm to yourself.”
Leaving reality aside, if this is destined to be two contradictory choices, then I’d rather you not be sensible, just be yourself.
Qiao Ling discovered, whenever he talked about his own sorrowful things, he would unconsciously bring a smile while speaking.
After discovering this pattern, her heart felt like it had been slashed hundreds of times by a knife, burning hot pain.
Qiao Ling’s eyes turned sour, counter-asked: “For example, you?”
People who had no choice but to give up on themselves.
Chen Kuang’s fingers passed through her finger gaps, imperceptibly interlocking ten fingers loosely, leisurely swinging once, the smile at the corner of his eyes deepening.
“Mm.”
Her chest felt stifled, in the end she didn’t say anything, threw herself into his embrace, holding the other tightly.
…………
The next day, after careful consideration, Qiao Ling decided to shorten the silver jewelry store’s business hours by three hours, using these three hours every day to focus on completing grandmother’s unfinished work that lacked parts.
She stood in the store, facing this pure silver head ornament with strong Miao ethnic characteristics on the display cabinet, recalling what Chen Kuang said to her last night.
The reason she was so angry and disappointed with Shixiong, actually part of the reason was that Qiao Ling in that moment realized—grandfather and grandmother’s craftsmanship had almost already been declared lost.
Grandmother accepted eight disciples in her life, pouring all her efforts into training them.
But after painstakingly training them, in the end not one person was willing to stay or engage in this kind of profession.
All left.
Wu Zong was the last one. Unexpectedly, the ending was also giving up this lineage’s inheritance.
Craftsmanship requires a lifetime of continuous repetitive practice to memorize and refine. If you don’t touch it for a long time, in the end it’s almost the same as never having learned.
The moment she thought of it being completely lost, sorrow rushed up to the top of her head, making Qiao Ling unable to let it go.
Last night she said it like this to Chen Kuang, yet the other party’s answer made her stay in shock for a long time.
Chen Kuang didn’t understand intangible cultural heritage craftsmanship, let alone had ever heard about their family’s story, but he said: “Isn’t there still you?”
He reminded her: “You are your grandmother’s ninth disciple.”
“The true final disciple should be you.”
One sentence completely enlightened Qiao Ling. Even if she was the one grandmother always said had the least talent, but after all kinds of twists and turns, in the end only she was still remembering, still practicing that ancient technique and pattern language.
Even if she had no ability to carry it forward gloriously, at least she had to remember, had to become proficient.
At least, to complete this set of dowry grandmother prepared for her, carrying guilt and remembrance.
…………
After National Day ended, this year’s last statutory holiday came to a close. Time began to leap forward. People in the city buried their heads in work, gathering all their energy charging toward the new year’s New Year’s Day and Lunar New Year’s Eve.
October had already come to an end, next week would be a new month. Because this summer’s rainfall had been abundant, many people speculated that snow might start as early as the beginning of October.
Qiao Ling also looked forward to snow, wanting to take Chen Kuang to see Binyang wrapped in silver attire. But winter already arrived and it was still dry and bare, surprisingly so.
In the blink of an eye, the two of them had already officially been dating for one month, but she still felt no real sense of it, as if it had just happened yesterday.
Xie Rouyin had rented a new residence suitable for her and Xiao Feng. Two weeks ago she had already moved out from Chen Kuang’s apartment.
But he didn’t mention wanting to go back to live there. Qiao Ling tacitly understood.
Even though her small apartment was only fifty square meters, with one bedroom, gradually this place had already become the two people’s small nest. He wasn’t picky about where he slept, and she couldn’t bear to end living together, so they continued living like this in mutual understanding.
As for Chen Kuang’s not-yet-expired lease commercial-residential apartment, now it was used for storing some miscellaneous items, becoming an auxiliary storeroom for Qiao Ling’s small shop upstairs.
This night at ten thirty, the silver jewelry shop still had lights on, but the closed sign was hung.
Qiao Ling put the silver piao tou rows she had made for two weeks one by one onto the hooks along the edge of the silver wei pa, arranging into two staggered neat rows of silver piao.
[Notes: piao tou (飘头): literal translation “floating head” — a type of silver ornament fringe part.
wei pa (围帕): literal translation “wrapped kerchief” — a type of silver accessory in Miao costume.]
After deciding to sacrifice business hours to finish it for her grandmother, Qiao Ling was full of energy all over, the first step was to complete engraving the totem pattern on the silver wei pa that grandmother had only engraved halfway.
Grandmother’s engraving technique was so skilled that lifting the knife was like lifting a brush, drawing deep and shallow, thick and thin, vivid mountains, rivers, and all things on the hard silver sheet.
She was afraid that her own knife would ruin this piece of silver wei pa, so every stroke was carved cautiously and carefully, not even daring to breathe too heavily, often only able to finish one set of patterns in a whole night.
Qiao Ling no longer complained about Shixiong Wu Zong giving up grandmother’s Miao silver craft and switching to learning Shu silver. Every time she finished a step, she would send a WeChat message to ask for his opinion.
And the other party never declined, giving her some suggestions remotely, and in the end, after seeing the silver wei pa she had completed, praised her as basically able to reproduce her grandmother’s level.
Although the technique definitely could not compare with the vividness and lifelikeness of an inheritor, for Qiao Ling, and for this piece of work, it was already very excellent.
Just like this, after finishing the silver wei pa, she started to one by one engrave, cut, and craft the small silver piao tou rows.
Hanging over a hundred silver piao tou rows onto the lower end of the hat body, after finishing these, she straightened her sore and stiff waist, and when she looked, it was already one thirty in the morning.
As long as she started doing these things, time always passed very quickly.
Qiao Ling picked up her phone and turned off silent mode, saw a bunch of unread WeChat messages from Chen Kuang, and was so startled she hurriedly called him back.