Qingping, upon hearing what Li Yue said, her little face instantly turned pale. The scenes of inner courtyard struggles among the women of large households described in the storybooks she had read before all surged into her mind at once. She had originally thought that the Madame treated people with kindness and wouldn’t encounter such things. She didn’t expect that as soon as the Madame stopped managing the household, she was poisoned.
Qingping was so anxious her voice carried a sobbing tone, and she asked: “How did you get poisoned? Madame, how are you now? Don’t scare me!”
Li Yue sat down and pressed her stomach, and said to Qingping: “Don’t cry. If you must cry, go outside to cry. I probably won’t die in a short while. Hurry and go call the physician.”
Qingping sniffled. “Mm, Madame, please hang in there, I’ll go get the physician for you right away.”
She turned and ran out.
Li Yue sat on the bed and felt that although this poison was sinister and strange, it didn’t seem to be fatal. He held onto the curtain and stood up, tried to take a few steps, and there was another warm current surging down from his lower abdomen.
“Hiss—” In the past few years at the northern frontier, Li Yue had suffered many injuries. If it were just stomach pain, it wouldn’t be a big deal. It was just that this surging warmth made it particularly hard to bear.
What kind of poison was this exactly? It truly harmed people terribly!
The one who poisoned him really had malicious intentions!
Qingping soon returned with the physician. The poor old physician was already advanced in age, carrying his medicine box, and followed Qingping running across more than half a street. By the time they reached Jixue Courtyard, he was nearly out of breath.
Before he could rest and catch his breath, he was urged to take Li Yue’s pulse. His breathing hadn’t even stabilized, his face flushed red from the running, and sitting opposite Li Yue, the old physician felt like he was the one on the brink of death instead.
He extended his hand and placed his fingers on Li Yue’s wrist. Before long, a confused expression emerged on the physician’s face. Then his brows furrowed tighter and tighter. Watching from the side, Qingping’s heart rose into her throat. The poison Madame had gotten must be very severe, otherwise the physician wouldn’t have shown such an expression. Madame surely wouldn’t really be in danger, right?
After a long while, the physician finally withdrew his hand. Qingping quickly asked: “Physician, how is it? Can it be treated?”
The physician glanced at Li Yue, then let out a sigh, and said: “Madame, judging from the pulse, it doesn’t seem that you’ve been poisoned.”
He may have felt his words were not rigorous enough, so after saying that, he added: “Or perhaps this old man’s skills are lacking, and I simply couldn’t detect it.”
Not poisoned? Impossible!
Li Yue said with a dark expression: “But my stomach hurts.”
Hearing this, the physician even began to suspect the Madame was playing a joke on him. But seeing Madame’s completely serious expression, it didn’t seem like a joke. It made the old physician feel a bit lost and even doubt his own diagnosis. He lowered his voice and said uncertainly: “Then perhaps it’s because… you have come to Gui Shui1Gui Shui (癸水): Literally “Gui Water,” where “Gui” (癸) refers to the tenth Heavenly Stem in Chinese metaphysics, traditionally associated with water and the feminine. In historical Chinese texts, “Gui Shui” is a euphemism for menstruation.?”
Qingping: “Ah?”
Li Yue: “Gui Shui?”
“Mm.” The physician nodded. Just now, seeing how anxious the Qingping girl was, he had nearly thought that the Madame was about to die.
Li Yue lowered his head and looked toward his lower abdomen. He had grown up in the imperial palace. Although there were many women in the palace, who dared mention such things in front of a royal prince? Later, he was sent by the late emperor to the northern frontier, where the military camp was full of men. Even more so, no one ever spoke of this thing. Today was the first time Li Yue had heard someone say Gui Shui directly in front of him, and it was also the first time he understood what it actually was.
Qingping lowered her head and counted the days, then nodded and said: “Oh, it’s been about a month.”
However, Madame’s monthly matter wasn’t very regular, and it would often be delayed ten days to half a month.
Knowing that it was a false alarm, Qingping finally let out a breath of relief. Madame was really something—how could she describe getting Gui Shui as being poisoned? She was scared to death!
Li Yue didn’t want to speak at all now. He only wanted to find a quiet corner where no one was around to calm himself down properly.
What the hell is this situation! Why is it Gui Shui! Might as well be poisoned! Why didn’t he read the Huangdi Neijing back then when he was reading books! [Huangdi Neijing: The Yellow Emperor’s Inner Canon, a foundational text of Chinese medicine, including knowledge of physiology, pathology, and health cultivation.]
He lowered his head and didn’t speak, looking like a gloomy mushroom hidden beneath tree roots during the rainy season.
Holding on to the principle of “since I’m already here,” the physician still prescribed a prescription for replenishing qi and nourishing blood. Judging from the pulse just now, this Madame’s body seemed to be much better than before.
The physician finished writing the prescription, and Qingping escorted him out. During this time, Li Yue didn’t say a single word—perhaps he was still regretting why he hadn’t studied more medical books.
Not long after Qingping left, Li Yue suddenly thought of something. He raised his head and shouted toward the empty air: “Come out.”
As soon as he spoke, two shadow guards descended from the sky and appeared before him.
Li Yue narrowed his eyes and threatened the shadow guards: “If any of you dare to speak of what happened today, you’re dead.”
After he finished speaking, the two shadow guards revealed hesitant expressions. Li Yue asked: “What is it? You still want to spread this around?”
These shadow guards were getting bolder and bolder! Don’t think he didn’t know how they gossiped in private!
One of the shadow guards quickly spoke up to clarify: “It’s not that, Madame. It’s because His Majesty had instructed that if anything happened to you, it must be immediately reported to the palace. So when you said you were poisoned just now, Wei Qi already headed to the palace.”
Li Yue took a deep breath and immediately felt his stomach hurt even more. He gnashed his teeth and asked: “You couldn’t have waited until the physician arrived to go?”
The shadow guards felt very wronged. Just now, this Madame had so confidently declared she was poisoned. That was an extremely urgent moment—if it had really been some deadly poison, and they went too late, what if His Majesty didn’t get to see this Madame one last time? How could they have known it was just Gui Shui?
Seeing that Li Yue’s expression looked terrible, the shadow guards silently swallowed their saliva. In front of this Madame, they always felt the pressure of being in front of the emperor himself. After thinking for a moment, one of the shadow guards tried to comfort Li Yue: “Don’t worry. Just now, Wei Qi already went to the palace. He will explain everything to His Majesty.”
Worry his ass! He felt even more like hitting someone, alright?!
On any other day, Li Yue would definitely give these shadow guards a good talking-to. But today, he really didn’t have the strength—he only wanted to lie flat on the bed. Best would be if that Gui Shui could just stay calmly in his stomach and not flow downward.
Now, just looking at these shadow guards irritated him. He waved his hand and told them to hurry and leave.
Qingping, after seeing the physician out, returned to find the shadow guards already gone. She saw that Madame was lying on the bed motionless, so she walked over and, with a pained heart, helped her pull up the blanket and asked: “Madame, are you feeling a little better now?”
Li Yue lifted his eyelids, glanced at her, and said: “Don’t talk to me.”
“But Madame…”
Facing Li Yue’s somewhat displeased gaze, Qingping’s voice grew lower and lower. She asked: “Don’t you need to change your clothes?”
Wearing those clothes like that must be uncomfortable, right?
Li Yue frowned. This Gui Shui would last several days. Just how many changes of clothes would he need?
Qingping quickly resolved this doubt for Li Yue. She turned around and fetched something from the outer cabinet. “This is a monthly matter belt, I’ll place it here for you.”
Li Yue sat up and picked up the monthly matter belt to inspect it. How was this thing supposed to be used?
“Does Madame need this maidservant’s help?” Qingping asked.
Does Li Yue not want face?!
“Go, go, go!” He drove Qingping out.
Li Yue sat there with a long face—what kind of human suffering was this? If his already cold-in-the-grave brothers found out about this, wouldn’t each and every one of them laugh so hard they’d jump out of their coffins?
In the Zichen Hall, Meng Fu was currently discussing the matter of performance evaluations with the officials of the Menxia Province. The officials of Menxia Province were all the same as their superior, Menxia Shizhong Liu Changlan—a bunch of old slick foxes, only good at smoothing things over, constantly going “this lord is right” and “that lord makes sense,” but when it came time to criticize and deliberate, it was “this is no good” and “that won’t work.”
After the morning court session today, Meng Fu specifically summoned them to Zichen Hall to clearly question the matter of the evaluations.
But she had barely asked a few questions when Gao Gonggong came trotting over in small hurried steps, leaned in close to her ear, and said that a shadow guard had returned to the palace from the Xuanping Marquis Residence. The shadow guards’ comings and goings between the palace and the Marquis Residence had been on a fixed schedule recently—returning at such an unusual time must mean something important had happened.
As soon as Meng Fu reached the central hall, she heard from the shadow guard that Li Yue had been poisoned. She was startled—nowadays, she was the Emperor, and the Emperor was her. No one could say what would happen to the other if something happened to one of them. If a marquis’s wife died, then she just died. But if something happened to the Emperor, the entire world would fall into chaos.
Since switching bodies with Li Yue, it was the first time such an obvious panic had appeared on Meng Fu’s face. She asked the shadow guard: “How is he now? What kind of poison is it? Is it serious? Has the physician gone? What did he say?”
Wei Qi couldn’t answer these questions. As soon as that Madame had something happen, he had come rushing to the palace. When he left, judging by the Madame’s expression, it seemed pretty serious. If His Majesty didn’t tidy up and rush out of the palace soon, maybe she wouldn’t even get to see him one last time.
Just as Meng Fu was preparing to disregard everything else and directly summon a group of imperial physicians to go to the Marquis Residence to have a look, another shadow guard arrived with new information—he said that the Madame wasn’t poisoned; she just came to Gui Shui.
Meng Fu: “……”
She didn’t even know what kind of expression she should show at this moment.
She finally remembered what it was she had forgotten while looking at the almanac yesterday. Though her monthly matter was always delayed, this time it was right on time—only now His Majesty had to suffer.
Meng Fu nodded and instructed the shadow guards to go back and pass on a message: no meeting today, he needs a good rest.
After handling this matter, she returned to the front hall again. Because she was thinking about the situation with Li Yue at the Marquis Residence, Meng Fu was somewhat distracted. Liu Changlan quoted classics and scriptures, talking on and on, but noticed the Emperor wasn’t reacting at all. After waiting a while with still no response, Liu Changlan mustered his courage and said: “Your Majesty?”
Meng Fu came back to her senses and reflexively showed a reassuring smile, saying to Liu Changlan: “Beloved subject makes a good point.”
Liu Changlan’s heart skipped a beat upon seeing the smile on his face. Could he not know whether what he had said made sense or not? He had already mentally prepared to be harshly scolded and then kicked out of Zichen Hall, but the Emperor suddenly going off-script made all the words he had prepared die in his throat.
When something is abnormal, there must be something fishy. The Emperor suddenly acting so gentle and kind must have some deeper meaning.
“You go back and discuss it further with Lord Wei,” Meng Fu clearly realized she wasn’t in the right state to continue discussing state affairs with the court officials. She turned to Gao Xi and said, “During morning court today, I saw Lord Wei’s complexion didn’t look too good. Gao Xi, later send an imperial physician to take a look at Lord Wei. Oh, and also bring along some melons and fruits offered by the local regions yesterday.”
The matter of evaluations was almost entirely being handled by Wei Jun’an. This Lord Wei must not have anything go wrong at this moment.
But these words of Meng Fu sounded very unpleasant in Liu Changlan’s ears. In this period of time, Wei Jun’an had received much favor from His Majesty. The officials who claimed not to be envious or jealous were lying—they were so sour they could die. Serving in court together, that old thing Wei Jun’an wasn’t even very good-looking—on what basis did he get to enjoy the Emperor’s exclusive favor!
In the past, the three provinces would all be scolded by the Emperor together. Now, Central Secretariat had betrayed them and secretly changed their strategy—learning how to win the Emperor’s favor. Not only that, they weren’t even advising His Majesty to share the imperial favor. In the future, the imperial court might very well become the world of Central Secretariat alone.
For the long-term development of Secretariat-Chancellery, he should also learn to gain His Majesty’s favor. Since the performance evaluation was a matter of certainty, why couldn’t he use this opportunity to make the Emperor look at him with new eyes? If they were all trying to cater to His Majesty’s intentions, he refused to believe that with his bold eyebrows and big eyes, he couldn’t beat Wei Jun’an when it came to pleasing the Emperor!
Liu Changlan absolutely refused to admit that he had been provoked by the Emperor’s preferential treatment of Wei Jun’an.
Right now, a perfectly good opportunity was placed right in front of him—why insist on going against His Majesty?
Liu Changlan felt he had truly been stupid these past few days. He adjusted his expression and said loudly, “Your Majesty, this humble minister has a word, but does not know whether it is appropriate to say or not.”
Meng Fu glanced at Liu Changlan. She could guess three or four parts of what was going on in his mind. On her first day attending morning court, she hadn’t known anything, and unintentionally caused the officials to form certain misunderstandings. It was indeed unintentional. But after learning many things from Li Yue later on, and combining that with the state of the officials during each court session, she more or less understood the situation. After that, Meng Fu deliberately used this misunderstanding to achieve her goals.
She had once asked that His Majesty in a letter whether doing so was inappropriate. His Majesty replied: if the result can be achieved, then don’t worry about anything else. Those old foxes in court are quite resilient—she was now the Emperor, so she could go ahead and act boldly.
With just a few lines, Meng Fu could practically imagine the voice and tone that His Majesty used when saying that.
She said blandly, “Speak.”
Liu Changlan felt a little aggrieved. Earlier at morning court, His Majesty’s attitude toward Wei Jun’an hadn’t been so cold.
But once he finished saying what he was about to say, Wei Jun’an would likely fall out of favor very soon.
That old fox Wei Jun’an wanted to please the Emperor, but for the sake of his colleagues not having too miserable of a time, he had deliberately left some leeway in the matter of performance evaluations.
Li Yue and Meng Fu both saw through his little calculation, but since Central Secretariat had been so cooperative this time—far exceeding expectations—they made a rare exception and turned a blind eye.
And now, Liu Changlan brought up all the loopholes that Wei Jun’an had left behind, and even thoughtfully offered solutions.
This Lord Liu perhaps didn’t even realize it himself, but when he finished speaking, he held his head high, a face full of “please praise me” expression.
Meng Fu nodded and gave a sound: “Not bad. Lord Wei is, after all, getting on in years. It’s still Beloved Subject Liu who is more thorough.”
While praising Liu Changlan, Meng Fu also slightly disparaged Wei Jun’an. In truth, Liu Changlan wasn’t much younger than Wei Jun’an, but hearing this now made his heart feel like it had been filled with honey—delightfully sweet. The corners of his mouth couldn’t help but lift crazily. That old bastard Wei Jun’an must really be falling out of favor! Hah, and he still wanted to fight with me? (T/N: Who needs concubines when they’re acting like this?)
Meng Fu gave an order: “Gao Xi, divide some of those melons and fruits and give a share to Lord Liu as well.”
Liu Changlan was so excited in his heart he was howling. My goodness! After working for His Majesty for so many years, he had finally been granted a reward! He couldn’t possibly eat it—he would have to take it back and present it to his ancestors, to show them that Liu Changlan had amounted to something.
After Liu Changlan left, a shadow guard delivered a verbal message: the Madame of the Xuanping Marquis said that the meeting this afternoon would proceed as usual.
Meng Fu actually hoped more that His Majesty could get proper rest at the Marquis residence. Just then, Gao Xi came in and said, “Your Majesty, Divine Physician Pang is here.”
Divine Physician Pang, full name Pang Huazhen, was a physician whom Li Yue had brought back from the northern frontier. Not yet forty years old, tall and thin, with ordinary features—but the long beard on his chin was very conspicuous. He came over to take Meng Fu’s pulse and sighed: “Didn’t I tell you not to get angry?”
Doctors hate patients who ignore medical advice the most.
Meng Fu said: “I haven’t been angry recently.”
“Not angry?” Pang Huazhen clearly didn’t believe it. He turned his head and asked Gao Xi, “Eunuch Gao, has His Majesty been angry?”
“Uh…” Gao Xi thought for a moment. His Majesty’s last bout of anger seemed to have been about half a month ago. He said to Pang Huazhen, “His Majesty truly hasn’t gotten angry in recent days.”
But Pang Huazhen trusted his own medical skill more. It had only been a month since he last took His Majesty’s pulse—His Majesty must have lost his temper in that time. He said to Gao Xi: “Then perhaps what we mean by ‘recently’ isn’t the same.”
Taking advantage of the moment when Meng Fu lowered her head, Gao Xi hurriedly nodded at Pang Huazhen.
Pang Huazhen earnestly advised: “I told you already—if you want the injuries on your body to fully recover, you absolutely must not get angry for three months.”
Only then did Meng Fu realize that His Majesty’s body was injured. She nodded, “I will keep that in mind.”
Pang Huazhen was exasperated to death and said, “It’s useless for you to just remember it—you’ve been remembering it for three years now. You have to actually follow through.”
Meng Fu herself had no problem with following this rule—but she didn’t know when she and His Majesty would switch back, so she could only give Divine Physician Pang some words: “I’ll try my best.”
Pang Huazhen figured that the Emperor’s illness would probably drag on for another three years. In any case, he had already said what needed to be said. Just as he was about to take his leave, he suddenly heard the Emperor ask: “Are you knowledgeable about miscellaneous women’s illnesses?”
At first, Pang Huazhen didn’t even register that His Majesty’s tone was very different from usual—he just felt like the sun had risen in the west. The Emperor actually asked this kind of question? Who was he asking it for? In this palace, the only woman the Emperor would care about was the Empress Dowager—there couldn’t be anyone else. If you extended the range a little, well, there was also that female cat in the imperial garden.
Pang Huazhen modestly said: “I have a rough understanding, but still need to see the person in order to diagnose.”
Meng Fu asked: “Then can you leave the palace with me today?”
Pang Huazhen let out a sigh of relief. He had really been afraid that the Emperor was going to ask him why the female cat in the imperial garden had such a big belly. But this tone from the Emperor made his skin crawl with goosebumps. He said, “Your Majesty, you’re being so polite all of a sudden—it’s a bit hard for this humble subject to get used to. Your Majesty… I haven’t done anything recently to make you angry, have I? That jar of wine that went missing last month really wasn’t drunk by me—I dare swear to Heaven!”
Meng Fu: “……”
Her face darkened, and she said coldly: “Go get your medicine box and follow me out of the palace.”
Pang Huazhen: “Right away!”