Ever since that Xie woman had arrived, the two of them had been inseparable, as if Lu Huaihai had grown attached to her side. He had practically gone to see her every day. Madam Su had almost started to believe that Xie had cast some sort of spell on him!
How could he now so easily leave her behind?
Madam Su instinctively felt that something was wrong and ordered, “Qingzhu, go and summon Concubine Xie.”
Qingzhu acknowledged the command and left.
It wasn’t long before Xie Miao’er, who had been in the side chamber of the East Courtyard keeping Lu Baozhu company, was summoned. Upon hearing Qingzhu’s call, she said to Baozhu, “Baozhu, I have to leave now, all right?”
Lu Baozhu, with her childlike and simple-minded nature, couldn’t understand why this elder sister was leaving so early today. She pouted and grabbed Xie Miao’er’s sleeve, looking as though she was about to burst into tears.
“No… don’t!”
Xie Miao’er helplessly smiled at Qingzhu and said to Baozhu, “Baozhu, if you keep pulling, my sleeve will be torn.”
Only after Xie Miao’er promised to come back and keep her company tomorrow did Baozhu finally let go, breaking into a wide smile.
“So, you can understand that at least,” Xie Miao’er said, caught between laughter and tears, as she stood up and brushed off the leaves that had stuck to her skirt.
Qingzhu watched their interaction for a while and finally understood why Lu Baozhu, despite being mentally slow and prone to fits of madness, enjoyed playing with Xie Miao’er so much.
No matter who it was, even Lu Baozhu’s own mother, Madam Su, there was often a subtle sense of condescension in their attitude toward the simple-minded girl.
Because Baozhu was slow, many thought it unnecessary to explain things to her.
But Concubine Xie treated Lu Baozhu with complete equality. She would crouch at the same level as her to watch ants in the flowerbed, or play games like tossing stones and counting trees with her.
Even her parting words—“I’ll come back to play with you tomorrow”—didn’t feel like a perfunctory excuse to Qingzhu. It sounded sincere.
Xie Miao’er’s ability to interact so harmoniously with someone like Lu Baozhu wasn’t unrelated to her own pure and unpretentious nature.
After all, children are the most sensitive to the kindness of those around them.
Qingzhu sighed softly and, while leading the way, kindly reminded Xie Miao’er, “Concubine Xie, do you know where the young master has gone? Madam will ask you about it soon.”
Xie Miao’er didn’t realize Qingzhu had thought so deeply about her and Lu Baozhu’s interaction.
Judging by the timing, the Lu family must have realized by now that something was amiss with Lu Huaihai’s disappearance. Xie Miao’er had already guessed that Madam Su was summoning her because of this.
Even so, she was still grateful for Qingzhu’s considerate warning.
In the main room of the East Courtyard, Madam Su sat upright with a stern expression, scrutinizing Xie Miao’er as she entered.
Having stayed in the Lu family for several months now, Xie Miao’er appeared much more composed than when she had first arrived.
Madam Su snorted coldly through her nose and asked sharply, “Xie, how long has it been since Huaihai last came to see you?”
Xie Miao’er replied honestly, “It’s been six or seven days.”
Madam Su’s face darkened, and she slammed her hand down on the armrest of her grand chair. “You knew he was going to leave, didn’t you?”
When Madam Su got angry, her entire face seemed to tighten, becoming sharper and harsher. Her high cheekbones became even more prominent.
Xie Miao’er wasn’t one to lie, nor did she intend to.
If she claimed she didn’t know, Madam Su and the rest of the Lu family would likely grow even more worried about Lu Huaihai’s whereabouts.
Thus, Xie Miao’er calmly responded, “Yes, Third Madam.”
But when Madam Su pressed her further, asking where Lu Huaihai had gone and what he was doing, Xie Miao’er maintained an unyielding silence, lowering her head and pretending to be as timid as a quail.
Madam Su was so furious that she almost lost her breath. Pointing at Xie Miao’er, she scolded, “From the moment you entered this household, I have treated you with nothing but leniency. And this is how you repay the Lu family?”
Xie Miao’er knew that Madam Su wasn’t wrong.
Even though she hadn’t understood the role of a concubine in a household when she first arrived, over time, through the words of others and the stories she observed, she gradually came to understand.
As a mother-in-law, Madam Su had indeed been extraordinarily kind to her son’s concubine.
There were no strict rules imposed on her, no morning and evening greetings required, and her provisions for food and clothing were never lacking. Just the other day, upon learning that Madam Du had been sentenced to hard labor and that the younger children in the Xie family had no one to care for them, Madam Su had even asked Xie Miao’er if she needed an older maid from the house to assist her.
Even though much of Madam Su’s kindness was likely motivated by her desire to mend her relationship with Lu Huaihai, it didn’t change the fact that she had done so much for Xie Miao’er.
Judge actions, not intentions. Madam Su’s actions alone were enough to make Xie Miao’er feel grateful.
But her gratitude only made her current situation more difficult.
When Xie Miao’er remained silent, Madam Su’s anger boiled over. She yelled, “If you are so determined to side with him, then you can kneel in the ancestral hall in his place!”
Just as she finished speaking, someone announced from outside, “Third Madam, the Old Madam is here.”
Madam Su, still fuming, had no choice but to temper her anger. When she heard that the Lu family’s matriarch was coming, she stepped forward to greet her.
“Old Madam, what brings you here today?”
Xie Miao’er stepped aside to make way for the Old Madam but was surprised when the latter’s somewhat rough hand suddenly grasped her wrist.
The Old Madam stated her intention plainly: “Summer heat can be harsh. Eat more cooling foods to dispel it.”
Madam Su forced a smile. “Understood.”
The Old Madam gave Xie Miao’er a sidelong glance, then said to Madam Su, “She’s not like us. She hasn’t endured the northern sandstorms. Do you think her frail body can withstand kneeling on those hard boards?”
Madam Su took a deep breath. “Old Madam, what do you mean by this?”
The Old Madam replied, “I’m an old woman with nothing to do. I thought I’d find a young person to keep me company.”
Madam Su’s smile grew even more strained. “Mother-in-law, you’re putting me in an impossible position here, making me look like the villain for no reason.”
But the Old Madam ignored her comment and muttered to herself, “Hmm, is it almost time? I need to hurry back to take my medicine…”
With that, the Old Madam firmly grabbed Xie Miao’er’s hand and led her out of the East Courtyard, leaving Madam Su behind as they headed to the main courtyard.
Xie Miao’er, more bewildered now than when Madam Su had interrogated her, hesitantly asked, “Old Madam, what do you mean by this?”
The Old Madam glanced at her indifferently and asked, “Do you want to kneel?”
Xie Miao’er quickly shook her head. Only a fool would willingly seek out such suffering.
Yet, despite the Old Madam’s cold demeanor, Xie Miao’er felt a strange sense of closeness to her.
After all, Lu Huaihai’s eyes were strikingly similar to hers.
Xie Miao’er tentatively asked, “Did the Young Master speak to you beforehand?”
The Old Madam had already closed her eyes as she settled into a rocking chair. Waving her hand dismissively, she said, “What else? Stay with me for a few days until her anger subsides. Mo Qing, find her a place to stay.”
Xie Miao’er, feeling that it was pointless to argue, simply followed Mo Qing.
She had only been to the main courtyard once before, accompanying Lu Huaihai, so she still felt out of place. Thankfully, Mo Qing was talkative, easing some of her discomfort.
“This room hasn’t been used for a long time, but I’ve had it tidied up. Mistress, you can stay here without worry,” Mo Qing said.
The empty room carried a faintly unfamiliar air. Once Mo Qing left, Xie Miao’er sat there alone, her energy wilting.
She began to miss the cramped, modest little courtyard.
And she found herself missing Lu Huaihai as well.
He had always been like that—doing much, saying little.
He had foreseen the difficulty she would face, caught between him and his mother, and had arranged for the Old Madam to intervene ahead of time.
Without her even knowing, he had quietly made plans for her.
The more she thought about it, the more hollow her heart felt. Thankfully, Mo Qing had gone to fetch Yue Chuang to keep her company, sparing her from sitting alone in the unfamiliar space.
The Old Madam rarely had moments of clarity, and after bringing Xie Miao’er to the main courtyard, she didn’t bother with her anymore.
The next day, Xie Miao’er tidied herself up and was about to step out of the main courtyard when Mo Qing stopped her.
“Mistress, where are you going?” Mo Qing asked.
“To the East Courtyard,” Xie Miao’er replied.
Mo Qing looked puzzled. “The Old Madam brought you here to avoid the Third Madam’s temper. Why would you go back to the East Courtyard?”
Wouldn’t that be walking straight into trouble?
Xie Miao’er smiled faintly and said, “I promised Second Miss I’d keep her company today. I can’t go back on my word.”
In the family, Lu Baozhu was ranked second among the daughters. The eldest, Lu Hong, was from the first wife’s branch, while the third, Lu Tanzhu, was from the second wife’s branch and a few months younger than Baozhu.
Mo Qing didn’t understand her insistence, but seeing her determination, she chose not to press further.
When Xie Miao’er arrived at the East Courtyard, the people there were visibly surprised. Qingzhu, who had been chatting with a maid, immediately rushed over upon seeing her and said, “Mistress?”
Xie Miao’er calmly explained her purpose, and Qingzhu fell silent for a moment before saying, “Very well. Please wait here; I’ll go inform the Third Madam.”
Qingzhu couldn’t help but feel a sense of admiration. People have hearts, and Xie Miao’er’s actions clearly showed hers. When she explained the situation to Madam Su, her tone carried an unintentional trace of bias.
“…That’s what Mistress Xie meant to say,” Qingzhu concluded.
Madam Su glanced at her and said, “So even your loyalties are shifting now, huh?”
Qingzhu, noticing her mistress was still in the mood to joke, realized that much of Madam Su’s anger had dissipated. She quickly replied, “Madam, you know that’s not what I mean. I just think it’s rare for Second Miss to have someone care about her. She’s been in much better spirits lately, and it’s clear Mistress Xie has been making an effort.”
Madam Su sighed. How could she not see it? In truth, she felt somewhat relieved that the Old Madam had stopped her yesterday, sparing Xie Miao’er from having to kneel in the ancestral hall.
Still, Xie Miao’er wasn’t aware that Madam Su’s attitude had softened. In her mind, she could only recall Madam Su’s anger from the day before.
Even so, she chose to honor her promise to the simple-minded Second Miss, risking punishment to keep her word.
Faced with this, Madam Su found herself unable to stay angry and even felt a tinge of regret that Xie Miao’er’s background was too lowly. Otherwise…
Finally, Madam Su said to Qingzhu, “Go ahead and let her in.”
Xie Miao’er fulfilled her promise, and Lu Baozhu was overjoyed, clapping her hands and eagerly leading her to see a newly discovered ant nest.
In truth, Xie Miao’er wasn’t entirely motivated by affection for Lu Baozhu. Due to her frail health, she had missed out on many of the simple pleasures that other children enjoyed. Now, under the guise of accompanying Lu Baozhu, she quietly made up for her own childhood regrets.
The days passed like water, calm and uneventful.
During the day, things were easier. Xie Miao’er had plenty to occupy her: accompanying Lu Baozhu, managing the fabric shop’s accounts, and keeping an eye on her younger siblings, who were being raised outside the household.
She was too conspicuous to leave the residence often, so she frequently sent Yue Chuang to check on Xie Teng and Xie Ying’er. Only after Yue Chuang returned with news that they were well would she feel at ease.
Having taken over someone else’s position in life, it was only right to care for her blood relatives in their stead.
At night, however, when there were no tasks to fill the emptiness, Xie Miao’er couldn’t help but think of Lu Huaihai.
In reality, Madam Su’s anger had long since dissipated. She knew her son’s temperament and had a vague sense of what he might be doing. She understood it wasn’t the fault of the woman he left behind.
But since the Old Madam hadn’t mentioned sending Xie Miao’er back, she simply stayed in the main courtyard.
—She feared that returning to the place where they had once lived together would only plunge her deeper into longing.
For the first time in her life, Xie Miao’er experienced the feeling of being utterly consumed by thoughts of someone.
Was his journey going smoothly? Had anyone made things difficult for him? Was he getting enough to eat? Did he have warm clothes? Was he injured?
At the same time, she felt a deep sadness for herself.
Lu Huaihai’s world was vast, filled with battles, swords, and the winds of war.
But her world was so small—just this courtyard and the fleeting sky above it.
Like a bird perched on a branch, he would land briefly but would never stay.
As Xie Miao’er gazed absentmindedly at the silhouette of the trees in the distance, as though trying to pierce a hole in the night sky, Yue Chuang softly reminded her, “Mistress, are you… thinking of the Young Master?”
Xie Miao’er didn’t deny it. She didn’t find longing something to be ashamed of. “Yes.”
Worried that Xie Miao’er might dwell too much on her melancholy and harm her health, Yue Chuang suggested, “It’s getting late, Mistress. Let me help you freshen up for bed.”
Xie Miao’er withdrew her gaze and reined in her wandering thoughts.
Perhaps it was because of her longing during the day that it spilled into her dreams at night. In the deep hours, as clouds gathered and obscured the moon, Xie Miao’er had a vivid dream.
—On a southeastern coastline, large groups of Japanese pirates were landing. The defenses were weak, and the county’s garrison soldiers were practically useless. With their long swords, small groups of pirates—just a dozen or so—could easily seize an entire county. They plundered, burned, and killed indiscriminately, committing heinous atrocities.
Having looted enough, the pirates moved on to their next target. But midway, they were intercepted by an unexpected force.
A dashing, youthful man, brimming with vigor, stood in their path, wielding a long sword and seizing them by the throat.
It was Lu Huaihai.
—
Author’s Note:
Xie Miao’er’s dream is about a parallel-world version of Lu Huaihai, one without her existence. It’s not some mystical brainwave video call with the current Lu Huaihai in her timeline. _(￣▽￣)_