Eastern Courtyard, Main Room.
When Lu Paizhang opened his eyes early in the morning, he saw Madam Su lying beside him. For a moment, he felt a bit dazed.
They had been husband and wife for many years, and there had been moments of tenderness and affection in the past. However, there were far more days when they grew tired of looking at each other. To avoid awkward situations, they had long since started sleeping in separate beds.
Detached and unrelated, they were merely strangers living under the same roof.
However, recently, the atmosphere between them had improved quite a bit. They rarely argued anymore, and last night, in a moment of heat, Lu Paizhang took the initiative to seek out Madam Su.
At this moment, Madam Su was still lying there peacefully with her eyes closed. Over the years, fine lines had already formed at the corners of her eyes. Of course, Lu Paizhang himself hadn’t fared much better—his face bore every wrinkle that time ought to carve.
Outside, sparrows had begun chirping early in the morning. Madam Su’s brow furrowed slightly. Slowly, her eyelashes lifted. Sensing her husband’s gaze, she turned her head gently on the soft pillow to look at him.
“Yingyue,” he called her by her maiden name.
Hearing this, Madam Su felt no particular emotional stir. She yawned delicately and asked while lying down, “Aren’t you going to work today?”
Lu Paizhang replied, “I’d only be showing my face if I went. Things have been slow these past few days, and since I’ve decided to retire, I might as well slack off for a bit.”
Madam Su said, “That works too.”
“I’ve asked someone to find an old physician. Let’s have him check on Baozhu before the year’s end,” Lu Paizhang said.
Their daughter’s illness had always been a thorn in their hearts. In recent months, her condition had improved significantly, which had helped to ease the knot in the couple’s hearts.
Madam Su acknowledged with a sound and then asked, “What about the matter I spoke to you about yesterday? Have you given it some thought?”
“There’s no rush. Let’s carefully select someone for Huaihai,” Lu Paizhang said.
Marriage and childbearing were naturally good things. However, when the subject came up, both of their expressions carried little joy and instead seemed somewhat heavy.
Blades and swords on the battlefield showed no mercy. Lu Huaihai was the only male of this generation in the Lu family. To put it plainly, they wanted him to marry early and continue the family line, just in case something happened.
The Lu family’s status in Taizhou was rather awkward—neither high nor low—making it genuinely difficult to find a suitable bride.
Lu Paizhang stroked the stubble on his chin and got out of bed. He said, “If we were in Yansui, it would’ve been much easier. The Lu family has been established there for generations, and we know the other families well. It would’ve been easier to arrange a marriage.”
Madam Su also got up and said, “Family status is secondary. The most important thing is that the person must be good, and her temperament can’t be too soft. Otherwise, she won’t be able to handle Huaihai.”
Lu Paizhang was taken aback. “With his stubborn temperament, you want to find him a strong-willed wife? Won’t they be fighting every day?”
“You don’t understand,” Madam Su said. “A delicate and gentle young lady might not catch his eye. Harmony between husband and wife requires balance. Whether it’s one side always yielding or both sides being equally stubborn, it’s hard to maintain for long.”
Every word she said seemed to be indirectly criticizing him. Lu Paizhang coughed and said, “Alright, let’s take our time. When the time is right, we’ll let him know. He’s quite opinionated himself.”
Madam Su had no interest in doing what ordinary wives would do, like helping her husband get dressed. She focused on brushing her hair and said casually, “If you want to talk to him, go ahead. I’m not taking on the job of being the scapegoat.”
“You’re his mother. Are you saying you can’t even propose a marriage to him?”
Madam Su dropped a bombshell: “Your son might already have someone in mind.”
Lu Paizhang was shocked. “Who? Which family’s daughter?”
Madam Su didn’t keep him in suspense and said slowly, “Do you remember the concubine his mother gave him earlier? You should still have some impression of Xie Miao’er.”
At her words, Lu Paizhang recalled Xie Miao’er and frowned. “I do, but what makes you say that?”
Madam Su then recounted the events from when Lu Huaihai left. “…That’s about it. You know your son. He never opens his heart to us, but that Xie lady somehow knew his plans in advance. Not only that, he even asked me to act as her protector, fearing she might be wronged.”
Madam Su paused and added, “The night before, when you enforced the family discipline, it was also her who went to take care of him.”
Lu Paizhang finally detected a hint of astonishment. He said, “Really?”
At his son’s age, young men were usually thin-skinned, let alone Lu Huaihai, who had always been stubborn and prideful. The kind of person who would “swallow his broken teeth along with the blood,” he seemed to utterly disdain being “cared for.” And yet, he had actually allowed someone to see him in such a state after being injured.
Now, Lu Paizhang’s interest was piqued. Deeply curious about his son’s romantic entanglements, he pressed, “Yingyue, what kind of temperament does this Xie girl have?”
Madam Su thought for a moment and replied, “A young lady who’s outwardly gentle but inwardly strong. Her personality is lively and amusing, but she still has a childlike nature. Otherwise, she wouldn’t get along so well playing with Baozhu.”
Over the past half year, Madam Su had interacted with Xie Miao’er quite often. The girl’s proper manners and measured behavior made her hard not to like, and Madam Su’s words already revealed a hint of favoritism.
When Lu Paizhang heard the phrase “childlike nature,” he immediately understood the unsaid sentiment in Madam Su’s mind—‘Xiang Wang has a dream, but the goddess is heartless.’1
“Truly…” he began, but just then, Zhengya walked in and whispered something to Madam Su.
Madam Su listened, then covered her mouth with a smile and said to Lu Paizhang, “Last night, your son went to see her again.”
Lu Paizhang fell into deep thought.
In terms of social standing, they were clearly mismatched. And for families with some level of respectability, it was rare to elevate a concubine to the status of a formal wife.
Yet, their relationship with Lu Huaihai had only just begun to thaw. They couldn’t bring themselves to harshly sever the budding romance outright.
Madam Su then said, “Forget it. I’ll talk to Huaihai myself. Let’s not recklessly meddle with this and end up creating another mismatched couple. Zhengya, go and call the young master.”
When she mentioned “mismatched couple,” Madam Su shot a glance at Lu Paizhang, causing him to respond with a wry smile.
After all, their marriage had also been born of mutual affection—so how had it turned into one of those mismatched couples she spoke of?
But Lu Paizhang dared not say anything. He felt guilty about past events and had no choice but to plead for leniency, quickly slipping away afterward.
Not long after, Lu Huaihai arrived. Madam Su smiled and asked him, “Where are you coming from?”
He sat down calmly and replied, “From Xie Miao… Xie’s courtyard.”
Madam Su asked him a few casual questions and then, as if unintentionally, mentioned, “You spent your eighteenth birthday outside. You haven’t had a proper birthday meal yet.”
When he said it wasn’t necessary, Madam Su shifted the topic seamlessly, “True, now that you’re older, a bowl of noodles doesn’t mean much. But your father and I were thinking, after the new year, when you’ve completed your military appointment paperwork with the Military Appointments and Integrity Officials Department and taken up an official post, you’ll officially be a proper adult. It’s time to start a family.”
At this point, Lu Huaihai immediately understood why Madam Su had called him over.
He almost reflexively replied, “Mother, I have no intention of marrying or having children.”
Madam Su had expected this response and quickly countered, “Oh? And why don’t you want to marry or have children? Surely you can share your reasoning with me.”
Reasoning?
Lu Huaihai instinctively resisted the thought of starting a family. He hadn’t even considered the reason behind it.
So he said, “As a man, how can I start a family before establishing a career?”
Madam Su dismissed his argument with a calm and measured tone, “There’s no fixed order between starting a family and establishing a career. It all depends on what you want for yourself. Unless…” She paused and gave him a knowing look, “It’s not that you don’t want to marry or have children, but that you already have someone in mind?”
Lu Huaihai hadn’t seriously considered marriage, though when Madam Su brought it up, a figure did flash across his mind.
Marriage felt far too significant, far too distant.
“But he still held firm, saying, ‘Mother, I don’t want too many attachments.’”
Madam Su directly exposed him: “You’re already attached, aren’t you?”
She scrutinized the son she had carried in her womb.
He didn’t respond, so Madam Su continued: “I didn’t call you here today to make things difficult for you.
“To be honest, I quite like her. After all, she only entered the household because of an unexpected mishap, and you were implicated as well. I had even thought before that, since there are no older generations left in her family, if she stayed for another two years, I could take her as my adopted daughter and marry her off, which would be a way to fulfill that bond.”
Hearing this, a serious look finally appeared in Lu Huaihai’s eyes. “Mother, you overthink. No matter the circumstances that led to it, since she has become my woman, I will not do something as dishonorable as abandoning her.”
He seemed to have completely forgotten what he had said the first time he met Xie Miao’er.
—Back then, he had addressed her as “Miss Xie” and told her he was not the kind of man who took advantage of others. If she ever had other plans in the future, he would let her leave the household.
“See? Now you’re being honest.” Seeing his solemn tone, Madam Su chuckled lightly and said, “Alright, I won’t pressure you. I just wanted to discuss this with you so you’re mentally prepared.”
Lu Huaihai replied with a serious expression, “I don’t want to marry.”
Madam Su responded, “Don’t be so final in your words. You can go for now and think about it yourself.”
—
Last night, she had been caught playing in the snow by Lu Huaihai.
In truth, he hadn’t scolded her, but she was simply afraid of him.
So today, Xie Miao’er was on her absolute best behavior. She didn’t step a foot out of the main house and stayed obediently indoors, leaning on the windowsill and resting her chin on her hands as she watched the snow being cleared outside the moon-shaped window.
Her palms felt itchy, perhaps from the cold of the previous day.
Xie Miao’er exhaled a warm breath into her hands and rubbed them together.
From outside the courtyard, a familiar figure approached. Xie Miao’er enthusiastically waved her hand at him. “Shaoye!”
Look! She was obediently staying inside the house.
Seeing her perched by the window with bright, unblinking eyes fixed on him, Lu Huaihai paused in his steps, remembering what Madam Su had just told him.
Xie Miao’er, unaware of the storm in his heart, continued looking at him eagerly.
Having gone through the tempering of real battlefields, his physique had become even sturdier. Even the thick winter clothes couldn’t conceal his upright and commanding presence.
The silver-gray cloak, which could easily make someone look old-fashioned, appeared dashing on him, perfectly complementing the snowy white surroundings.
Xie Miao’er inwardly criticized the family painter—how could his portrait fail to capture even one-tenth of the young master’s looks?
Lu Huaihai had already stepped into the house. Seeing Xie Miao’er turn her head to look at him, all the words he had prepared in his mind vanished into thin air.
“Xie Miao, you…”
He wanted to tell her about his family pressuring him to marry, to see her reaction.
But Xie Miao’er had already moved away from the window. She dusted off the snowflakes on her sleeves and picked up an iron poker to retrieve the sweet potatoes buried in the copper stove beneath the moon-shaped window.
“Quick, try one and see if it’s cooked.” Xie Miao’er used the poker to hand him a roasted sweet potato, making him the taste-tester.
The topic was interrupted by the roasted sweet potato. Lu Huaihai took it, lowered his head, and smiled faintly. He split the sweet potato in half and handed one portion to her.
His hands were calloused, so he didn’t feel it was too hot after a few flips. Xie Miao’er, unguarded, took it directly, but the heat made her flinch. She couldn’t bear to put it down, though, so she blew on it and placed it on the table. She then picked at it bit by bit from the part he had already broken open and popped the pieces into her mouth.
Although he felt slightly deflated about not finishing his words, sitting in a warm house on a cold day, sharing a piping hot roasted sweet potato with her, filled Lu Huaihai’s heart with a quiet contentment.
Forget it. He’d bring it up another time.
Unexpectedly, Xie Miao’er suddenly asked, “Shaoye, what were you just about to say?”
—
Footnotes:
- ‘Xiang Wang has a dream, but the goddess is heartless.’: This idiom metaphorically describes a situation where one person harbors deep affection, love, or longing for another, but their feelings are unreturned. It highlights the disparity between someone’s dreams or desires and the lack of interest from the other party.