“Sister, who are you going to look for?” Si Que lowered his eyes, his mood somber.
This question stumped You Yuji. She hadn’t yet considered anyone else. If things didn’t work out with Si Que, she would have to start looking among the young actors in the pear garden or among poor scholars, as she had initially planned.
“Do you think I’m not good enough, that the child will inherit my flaws?” Si Que’s voice lowered. “Or do you, like them, think I’m neither man nor woman?”
You Yuji was taken aback. She hurriedly moved in front of Si Que, squatting down and lifting the cloak that draped over his knees. She looked at him, “If my child could be as beautiful as you, it would be a blessing. If he could inherit your talents, it would be an even greater blessing. You are wonderful, truly wonderful. I am just worried about you.”
Si Que slowly smiled, his bright eyes full of innocence. “Then wait for me a few more days, don’t let me waste my medication.”
Looking into Si Que’s eyes, You Yuji silently shifted her gaze away.
In the past, at Si Que’s residence, she had heard men joke that Princess Que’s aloof and cold demeanor rarely allowed a smile. They said they would do anything to make Princess Que smile. Some even drunkenly declared that if they could make Princess Que smile, they would die happy.
Who said he didn’t like to smile? He always smiled at her.
And he indeed looked beautiful when he smiled.
You Yuji stood up and walked behind Si Que again, pushing him towards Yunxiao Courtyard. Halfway there, they met Tingyun, who was returning with some items. You Yuji stopped, deciding not to accompany Si Que further, as she had other guests to attend to.
After You Yuji left, Tingyun asked, “When will we dig out the eyeballs?”
“Give them to me,” Si Que said.
Tingyun hesitated before handing over the needle and thread he had brought.
You Yuji hurried towards the front courtyard. Just as she crossed the corridor, she encountered Chen Anzhi, who had followed her. This was the first time they had met since signing the separation papers.
Chen Anzhi looked at You Yuji, his eyes reflecting complex emotions.
He asked, “Did you send her back?”
“Yes. She’s not feeling well and needs to rest as soon as she gets back. It’s better if you don’t disturb her,” You Yuji said. Although she had seen Chen Anzhi’s humble demeanor in front of Si Que last time, revealing Si Que’s cross-dressing was dangerous. Now that Si Que’s health was poor, she naturally hoped Chen Anzhi would have less contact with him.
Chen Anzhi looked towards Yunxiao Courtyard and nodded.
You Yuji said no more and walked past Chen Anzhi towards the front courtyard.
Chen Anzhi withdrew his gaze and turned to watch You Yuji’s graceful figure as she left. You Yuji had taken off her cloak and given it to Si Que to cover his legs. The cool breeze blew against her dress, outlining her waistline clearly. Chen Anzhi couldn’t help but take a few more glances at You Yuji’s slender waist.
Food and lust, both human nature.
Chen Anzhi had to admit, despite his dislike for You Yuji’s flamboyance, she was indeed a captivating beauty, capable of enticing even with her shadow.
Chen Anzhi mused again that if You Yuji were not his legitimate wife but rather a concubine, he would have adored her immensely.
He then recalled his father’s words, that Physician Hu needed umbilical cord blood from a close relative for You Yuji’s mother’s treatment.
You Yuji’s figure had already disappeared around the moon gate, but Chen Anzhi still frowned as he looked in that direction. He was puzzled—wasn’t You Yuji very filial? If her mother needed the umbilical cord blood of a close relative as medicine, why hadn’t she come to him to seek intimacy?
Why was she still being so stubborn at this time? Did she not care about her mother’s life?
Should he take the initiative to find her? This thought crossed Chen Anzhi’s mind for a moment, but he quickly dismissed it. He was still angry about the two slaps she had given him, so how could he easily take the initiative to find her?
Women, after all, shouldn’t be spoiled too much. They need to be properly trained with measured discipline to become a virtuous wife who is comfortable to live with.
Chen Anzhi decided to leave You Yuji alone for a few more days.
As for the divorce letter?
Chen Anzhi believed that no woman could withstand the gossip that follows a divorce. That letter was just You Yuji acting out in a moment of anger. Once she calmed down, even if he wanted to send her away, she wouldn’t leave.
You Yuji returned to the front courtyard and first went to visit the woman who had fallen into the water. Jia Wenyin hated You Yuji with a passion, but You Yuji didn’t even know who she was. When You Yuji asked Zhenxu, who had helped Jia Wenyin after the incident, she learned that Jia Wenyin had already left.
“That woman who fell into the water has a very harsh mother-in-law. When I took her to change clothes, her mother-in-law kept berating her, saying she was a disgrace and calling her derogatory names related to being from a conquered nation. It was quite nasty, and I was too embarrassed to repeat most of it. I think they left because they felt humiliated.”
You Yuji nodded, thinking that Jia Wenyin must have been one of those married off to the Chen country during the Emperor’s large-scale arranged marriages. She wondered which conquered nation she was from, though she doubted it was Si Kingdom, as she would recognize her if that were the case.
Today was busy, and You Yuji decided not to dwell on Jia Wenyin for now, focusing instead on entertaining the guests. She thought she would send some modest gifts to the Zhao family another day.
It wasn’t until nightfall that the guests finally dispersed. You Yuji returned to Tanxiang Yingyue and enjoyed a relaxing milk bath. Afterward, she nestled into her bed with her cat, Baisui, and opened a book on pregnancy care.
Lady Jing entered, parting the curtains. “Madam, you haven’t eaten much today. Would you like some supper?”
You Yuji shook her head. “The red bean porridge we had tonight was quite good. Have the cook make more and send it to Yunxiao Courtyard. The weather has been cold, and the princess isn’t feeling well. From tomorrow on, ensure the kitchen prepares nourishing meals for her every day.”
Baohe, standing nearby, laughed. “Madam, you are so kind to Princess Que.”
You Yuji smiled, gently stroking Baisui’s chin with her slender fingers. She hadn’t revealed her plan to anyone, nor had she let them know that Si Que was actually a man.
When her pregnancy began to show, she would deal with it then. Turning another page in the book, she continued to learn about pregnancy care. This child was destined to be different, and she needed to show extra patience and love.
However, when the red bean porridge was sent to Yunxiao Courtyard, it did not reach Si Que’s hands.
Si Que was not at the residence.
He walked through the night, occasionally passing late-returning pedestrians. A black veil covered his expressionless face. Instead of his usual loose white women’s garments, he wore a fitted dark male outfit, with a jade-green belt as the only splash of color.
His entire figure was tall and erect.
Stopping by a street vendor closing up for the night, Si Que bought a bag of roasted chestnuts and then headed to the prison.
Even within the prison, there were different levels of accommodations. Although the Si royal family members were imprisoned by the Chen Emperor’s order, they had no execution orders due to their special status, and there was a chance they might be released. So, their conditions were relatively better than those of other prisoners.
Confined in the prison with limited activities, the only thing to do after dinner was to gather and chat.
Si Que stood outside the cell, listening coldly to the conversation inside.
“I wonder where the crown prince is now,” said Si Que’s third brother.
“There’s no news from Si Hua either,” said Si Chengping, the former emperor of the Si Kingdom and now a prisoner.
Si Chengping sighed, “Back then, we had no choice but to enter the capital and were trapped in the palace. Only the second son wasn’t imprisoned in the Chen Kingdom’s palace. We hoped that one day, he could assist us from the outside. Now, the second son should have met the crown prince and be of great help to him.”
“The Chen Emperor will definitely search every inch of the capital to capture the crown prince’s brother. Let’s hope the crown prince’s brother can safely leave Chenjing and return to our territory,” said Si Que’s fourth brother.
Si Que lowered his eyes, slowly eating the roasted chestnuts while listening to his family talk about their concern for the crown prince.
They spoke at length, worrying about how the crown prince would evade the Chen Kingdom’s pursuit and the hardships he would endure while fleeing.
As Si Que finished the bag of roasted chestnuts, he finally heard them mention him.
“I heard Si Que has become a concubine for Chen Zheng’s son,” said Si Que’s fifth brother.
“It would be righteous for him to take his own life to avoid humiliation,” said Si Chengping. “Drowning would be best, as retrieving the body would be difficult, and it would keep his secret as a man.”
Fourth Brother suddenly laughed, “That Young Master An was staring at Xiao Qi back then, maybe he wouldn’t mind Xiao Qi being a man, indulging in a homosexual relationship.”
Third Brother joked, “Do you think Xiao Qi should use his skills to make our days in prison easier?”
“Well, I was just saying. Xiao Qi should have died long ago. It’s a pity, really, to endure humiliation with a face identical to the crown prince’s.”
Fifth Brother didn’t joke but seemed somewhat regretful, “Even if he didn’t die well, the national teacher once said he wouldn’t live past twenty anyway.”
Suddenly, it became quiet.
Fifth Brother realized his mistake and immediately fell silent.
Everyone in the Si Kingdom knew the emperor highly respected the national teacher, treating him as an honored guest. Si Chengping even called him brother. But the national teacher was nothing more than a charlatan. When Si Chengping discovered the truth, he was furious. Yet, when he found out, it was too late. He didn’t want to admit his mistake in judgment and continued to respect the national teacher out of pride, eventually having him assassinated in secret two years later. He even gave the national teacher a grand burial to cover his own foolishness.
Not living past twenty?
Si Que raised his eyes and looked through the barred window of the iron door.
There was no congenital frailty, no need to be raised as a girl for health reasons, and no destiny of dying before twenty. It was all a lie. Even if there was some truth to it, it was because he had been given too many “medicinal treatments” since birth. Medicine is three parts poison, and it ruined an originally healthy body.
As a child, Si Que didn’t understand why his father continued to treat him as a girl for his health even after learning the national teacher was a fraud. But he vaguely knew that if it were his crown prince brother, he wouldn’t receive the same treatment. No matter how excellent he was, he would always be an accessory to the crown prince.
A crown prince needs only one. Having an older brother was enough.
From birth, he was discarded.
As a child, Si Que couldn’t understand why it was so difficult for his father to admit that he had been deceived by the national teacher and restore his male identity.
But it was that difficult.
His mother told him, “This is the dignity of the emperor.”
Then, she had silver needles inserted into his neck and used a dangerous remedy to smooth out his Adam’s apple.
Young Si Que was taciturn because, for many years, speaking caused excruciating pain in his throat, and he couldn’t produce sound. He loved his qin because, when he couldn’t speak, he could make sounds through its strings.
His mother held him, saying, “Ah Que, for your father’s dignity, you must endure this.”
In his mother’s warm embrace, he couldn’t speak, but he thought she would never treat his brother Ah Lang like this.
Fortunately, that woman died.
She suffocated in her coffin.
Her coffin was then made into Si Que’s beloved qin, producing gentle and romantic melodies. He wondered if she could hear them.
As he finished the last roasted chestnut from the bag, the people inside had moved on to other topics, and Si Que didn’t hear a single good word about him.
He wasn’t surprised.
Si Que turned and left the prison.
The guards of the prison stood there, their eyes vacant, as if none of them saw Si Que. He moved as if in an empty space, waving his hand, a nearly invisible powder floating in the air, slowly neutralizing the poison in these men.
Si Que walked out of the prison and stood in the darkness, pausing to look back.
He could easily save them if he wanted to, but they only hoped for Si Lang to rescue them.
“A bunch of fools,” Si Que chuckled, disappearing into the night.
